Girl #1: He fucking made my bed this morning! It was cute!
Girl #2: Aawwwww. I love when they do that. If you're gonna mess around in my bed, you gotta make it. It's kinda my rule: if you're gonna cum on me, you better wash it off too.
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Meg
Father: I read a report where they have linked promiscuity to Alzheimer's.
20-something daughter: Don't be jealous, dad.
Sydney
Australia
Hobo: Anyone got a dollar? I'm hungry as hell.
Fat girl: Here you go, man. (gives him a five)
Hobo: Thank you! Thank you! Now, see, because she's fat–no, I say healthy. I like my women healthy, gives me something to grab onto. Now, because she's fat, she knows I got to eat!
Fat girl: Umm…
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
College girl holding two bottles to friend, dreamily: These pills are gonna make me a better person…
Amherst, Massachusetts
Overheard by: shay
White dude with blond afro: You can't get mouth cancer from cigars.
Articulate college chick: Yeah, Sigmund Freud got mouth cancer from cigars.
White dude with blond afro: You want to know what else happened to him? He got bit by a tiger!
Monson, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Sarah
Boy in restroom: Mommy, what's this box for?
Mom: Oh, that's for…Kleenex.
(squeaking sound as boy opens sanitary napkin disposal box)
Boy: Well, then mommy, what's this?
Mom: That's not for little boys! Ew!
Moncton
Canadia
Woman (talking on the phone about a friend): She's happy as a clam since she had her uterus removed…
Husband (in the background): Happy as a clam without a uterus.
Woman: (glaring at him, keeps talking)
Husband: Happy as a clam without a uterus!
Dresden, New York
Overheard by: Rachel Bz.
Preppy college girl to friend: She was the girl who would go down on him while lighting his bowl. She was the perfect girl for him. It's too bad she went crazy, they would have been so happy together!
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/411972898/yeah-she-sounds-irreplaceable.html
Overheard by: burrhead.
Happy hour drinker: My menstruation looks like meat. Is that normal?
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/396710383/i-cant-hear-you-over-the-sounds-of-my-retching.html
Overheard by: no, good heavens no!
Girl: Have you had glandular fever?
Guy: Yes, have you?
Girl: Yeah, the doctor gave me this cream to put on my mouth that was made from stuff that comes from uncircumcised dicks. I was like, “that doctor soooo didn't think I'd read the label.”
Melbourne
Australia
