Woman to friend: What he has started doing now is picking his nose with his toe.
National Coney Island
Royal Oak, Michigan
Woman to friend: What he has started doing now is picking his nose with his toe.
National Coney Island
Royal Oak, Michigan
Airplane pilot: And just for sanitary reasons, please change your babies diapers in the bathroom, not on the pullout table in front of you, because people might stare.
Airport
Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: nicole
Emo boy: Matt! Tell her how you fucked up your face!
Matt: I was rubbing one out in the shower and when I came, my knees gave out and I hit my head on the faucet.
Emo girl (gasping and laughing hysterically): That is best thing I have ever heard!
Starbucks
New Mexico
Hot 21-year-old: Do I look fat in this?
Hot friend: Are you delusional?
Hot 21-year-old: Yay!
Hot friend: Being delusional isn't a good thing.
Hot 21-year-old: I'd rather be delusional then fat!
Rose Bay
Australia
Overheard by: Abbey
Girl to two friends: Well, he was okay because he could still introduce himself, could still make out with her, and could still pop a boner.
Texas Christian University
Fort Worth, Texas
Girl #1: He fucking made my bed this morning! It was cute!
Girl #2: Aawwwww. I love when they do that. If you're gonna mess around in my bed, you gotta make it. It's kinda my rule: if you're gonna cum on me, you better wash it off too.
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Meg
Father: I read a report where they have linked promiscuity to Alzheimer's.
20-something daughter: Don't be jealous, dad.
Sydney
Australia
Hobo: Anyone got a dollar? I'm hungry as hell.
Fat girl: Here you go, man. (gives him a five)
Hobo: Thank you! Thank you! Now, see, because she's fat–no, I say healthy. I like my women healthy, gives me something to grab onto. Now, because she's fat, she knows I got to eat!
Fat girl: Umm…
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
College girl holding two bottles to friend, dreamily: These pills are gonna make me a better person…
Amherst, Massachusetts
Overheard by: shay
White dude with blond afro: You can't get mouth cancer from cigars.
Articulate college chick: Yeah, Sigmund Freud got mouth cancer from cigars.
White dude with blond afro: You want to know what else happened to him? He got bit by a tiger!
Monson, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Sarah
