Good Thing Pluto Didn’t Hear That

Chocolate store girl: You’re a dicksucker. You know that? I mean, why bother with you? You seen my ass, you know I’m good-looking. You’re-.
Guy in Goofy costume, muffled: Whatever. There are other tits. I’ll be just fine regardless. And just so you know [lowers voice as kids approach] you’re gonna get us both fired if you keep this shit up.
Chocolate store girl, loudly: Fuck you, and fuck your fucking ass! I hope you get fired! Then you can go home and suck your asshole!
Guy in Goofy costume, losing it: Better than sucking your ex’s dick when you’re supposed to be working.
Chocolate store girl, stunned: Who told you that?!
Guy in Goofy costume: Jen, after I fucked her!
[Girl walks into the shop quickly and goes into back room looking like she’s going to cry. Goofy goes back to wandering around aimlessly, waving to little kids.]

Disney World
Orlando, Florida

Overheard by: after that, my g/f and i applied for jobs there

Posted on January 6, 2016
BJs, Couples, Coworkers, Florida, Girls, Guys, Insults, Jobs & Careers, Relationships, Sex, Tourist attractions, Weirdness

An “F.” Why?

Sophomore girl: Yeah, I had Mr. Jacobs* last year, and he had a retarded accent. He said, ‘I am from Wales,’ and I said, ‘Hehe, screw you!’

All Saints High School
Whitby, Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: freshman whisperer

Posted on December 14, 2015
Canadia, Chicks, Insults

The “Hugs, Not Drugs” Campaign Has Had Mixed Results

Huge gangsta boy: Maaaan, gimme a hug!
Preppy white friend: What?! No!
Huge gansta boy: What the fuck, man, just gimme a goddam hug!

High School
Nashville, Tennessee

Posted on November 7, 2015
Feelings, Friends, Insults, Offers and requests, Preppies, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Tennessee, Thugs, Whiteys

Jason Decides Reality Is Too Hard

Mom: Does Mommy look fat in this?
Toddler: Yes!
Mom: No! You’re supposed to say no!
Toddler: [Silence.]

Target
Moreno Valley, California

Overheard by: Lisa

Posted on October 25, 2015
California, Insults, Moms, Should have used a condom

New Yorkers-in-Training

Conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, we're stopped here because Amtrak's having signal trouble. They're working on the line, but don't know how long it'll take. We could be here five minutes, we could be here fifty minutes.
Loudmouthed commuter: I don't believe this–the same fucking thing happened on Monday!
Even louder commuter: Why the fuck you gotta use language like that?
Conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, let me remind you it is not the conductors' fault the train is stopped. We want to go home too, and we're stuck here on this train with you.

NJ Transit

Overheard by: Graceful Space

Posted on October 25, 2015
Employees, Etiquette, Insults, New Jersey, Public transportation

Delta Burke Saw His Point

Bum women: Do you have bus fare? I need bus fare.
Woman: Sorry, I don’t have any change.
Bum: Well, fuck you, you fat, scheming, cheap bitches!

Main Street
Hartford, Connecticut

Posted on October 13, 2015
Bag ladies, Character, Connecticut, Grumpies, Insults, Money, Offers and requests, Public transportation, Women

Hey, Girls Just Wanna Have Funyuns.

Woman coming out of convenience store: They ain't got no Funyuns in there!
Man standing outside store: You got a bad attitude! I'ma put you in yo' place with ya old ass!

Magazine Street
New Orleans, Louisiana

Overheard by: Flying Burrito

Posted on October 2, 2015
Food, Guys, Insults, Louisiana, Women

…Which Is Also What Tom Said.

Girl #1: So what are we looking for here?
Girl #2, distractedly: A birthday card for my boyfriend Tom*. (pauses) I mean…
Girl #1: Oh my god, you totally just called your best friend your boyfriend! If that's not a huge Freudian slip, I don't know what is.
Girl #2: Freud can suck my dick!

Culpeper, Virginia

Overheard by: freudian follower