Hey, Girls Just Wanna Have Funyuns.

Woman coming out of convenience store: They ain't got no Funyuns in there!
Man standing outside store: You got a bad attitude! I'ma put you in yo' place with ya old ass!

Magazine Street
New Orleans, Louisiana

Overheard by: Flying Burrito

Posted on October 2, 2015
Food, Guys, Insults, Louisiana, Women

…Which Is Also What Tom Said.

Girl #1: So what are we looking for here?
Girl #2, distractedly: A birthday card for my boyfriend Tom*. (pauses) I mean…
Girl #1: Oh my god, you totally just called your best friend your boyfriend! If that's not a huge Freudian slip, I don't know what is.
Girl #2: Freud can suck my dick!

Culpeper, Virginia

Overheard by: freudian follower

Posted on September 22, 2015
Gifts, Girls, Insults, Mental illnesses, Questions, Relationships, Shopping, Virginia

See Their “My Child Is an Honor Student at Bitchassfaggot Elementary” Sticker?

Grandma, after car cuts bus off: Bitchassfaggot.
Daughter: Mom!
Grandma: Well, that's what they are!

Public Transit
Minneapolis, Minnesota

Posted on September 17, 2015
Family, Insults, Minnesota, Parenting

And Breakfast Is the Most Important Meal Of the Day

Girl on cell: So he was like, “I was thinking about going to Austin, because Brian's there.” and I was like, “Fuck Brian. I make better waffles.”

Boston, Massachusetts

Posted on September 14, 2015
Comebacks, Compare and contrast, Food, Girls, Insults, Massachusetts, On the phone

If You Need a Longer Break, “Fluffy Pink Clouds 101” Is Right Down the Hall

Linda: Ugh, this class is so depressing!
Professor: Let’s all take ten seconds to think about baby lambs to make Linda feel happy. [pause] Okay, back to Terri Schiavo!

Marist College
Poughkeepsie, New York

Posted on September 14, 2015
Animals, Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Education, Feelings, Girls, Gripes, Insults, New York, Offers and requests, Philosophy, Teachers

Don’t Even Bother to Answer Me

Mother: Why do people like you?
Teen daughter: What?!
Mother: I mean, why do people like to talk to you and be your friend? I just don’t get it.

Fairfax, California

Posted on August 31, 2015
California, Default, Family ties, Girls, Insults, Jerks, Moms, Questions, Relationships, Teens

And What's Written on the Box Makes No Sense at All

Bad-ass #1: What is Two and a Half Men about, anyway?
Bad-ass #2: Stop fuckin' askin' me, man! I told you, I don't know!

Video Store
Adelaide
Australia

Overheard by: behind the counter

Posted on August 19, 2015
Assholes, Australia, Insults, Questions, Stores, Stupidity, TV shows

Probably Mr. Marcus Doesn't, Either

Girl, pulling up in her SUV: Hey, Marcus.
Guy #1: Hey.
Girl: How ya doin'?
Guy #1: Good, good.
(girl drives away)
Guy #2: Why'd she call you Marcus?
Guy #1: I don't know that bitch.

Newark, Delaware

Posted on August 14, 2015
Default, Delaware, Girls, Guys, Insults, Names, Questions

Stop Wearing Those Stiletto Boots and Bra-tops and We'll Talk

Communications professor: I mean, I can offer you a dollar for sex or I can offer you a million dollars. You're still a prostitute. We're just haggling over price.
(some female students giggle)
Communications professor: What? Oh, you're laughing because I called you whores?

Otago University
New Zealand

Posted on August 4, 2015
Colleges & Universities, Education, Insults, Money, New Zealand, Offers and requests, Questions, Sex, Students, Teachers

And Confusing

10-year-old boy #1: You're a douche.
10-year-old boy #2: Oh, yeah? Well, you're a pickle and a radish in a jar full of lemonade.
10-year-old boy #1: That's mean.

Mississauga
Canadia

Posted on August 2, 2015
Canadia, Compare and contrast, Food, Insults, Kids

Insults

Probably Mr. Marcus Doesn't, Either