Mental illnesses

Girl #1: So what are we looking for here?
Girl #2, distractedly: A birthday card for my boyfriend Tom*. (pauses) I mean…
Girl #1: Oh my god, you totally just called your best friend your boyfriend! If that's not a huge Freudian slip, I don't know what is.
Girl #2: Freud can suck my dick!

Culpeper, Virginia

Overheard by: freudian follower

Crazy guy: Hey, June*! Do you know that my cabinets keep opening and closing by themselves?
June*: Well, do you believe in ghosts?
Crazy guy: Yes, I do!
June*: Maybe your place is haunted, and the ghosts just want to say hello.
Crazy guy, after thinking a while: No, I think it's just my schizophrenia.

Burlington, Vermont

Overheard by: Sweenan A. Mornstuy

Father: Sweetie, your affection for the dog is causing you to hallucinate.

Empress Pavillion
Chinatown, California

Overheard by: Yapplebee

Middle aged woman to another: It’s not the hot flashes that are so bad… It’s the depression.

BeauJo’s
Ft. Collins, Colorado

Overheard by: always listening

Dude: You fail to see that the rhinoceros is not pleased that you've clogged the bathtub drain with jam and celery. She's quite angry with you. I mean, if you just shit out a canary, it's not going to want to play tonsil hockey.
Friend: How hard would it be to get you involuntarily committed to a mental institution?

Marist College
Poughkeepsie, New York

Overheard by: Russ

50-something woman #1: I think he has that Marco Polo thing.
50-something woman #2: What?
50-something woman #1: You know, when someone is like, really depressed one minute then really happy the next.
50-something woman #2: Do you mean bipolar disorder?
50-something woman #1: Yeah that's the one.

Liverpool
England

Evidence prof, about hearsay exceptions: When Lebron James makes a three at the end of a game, is it a statement? He’s not actually saying anything. Actually, often when I go to games there is a woman with Downs Syndrome who sits behind me. She’s a lovely woman… She thinks the players are talking to her.

http://overheardinlawschool.blogspot.com/2007/03/whatd-you-say-shaq.html

Five-year-old girl to hair brush: Mommy doesn't want me to buy you or to talk to you… That makes me sad.
Embarrassed mom: Come on sweetie, let's go home.
(kid keeps talking to hair brush, mom yanks it away)
Mom, leaving store: Now is not the time to talk to hair brushes!

North Carolina

Overheard by: Wondering why mom was embarrassed

Man, hitting himself in the head with cell phone: I'm not giving you your fuckin' phone back until you fuckin' go to your fuckin' psychiatrist and take your fuckin' pills!
Woman: Give me my phone.
Man: I'll smash your phone on my head!
Woman: Give me my phone!
Man: Go to your fuckin' psychiatrist! Get your fuckin' pills!

Toronto
Canadia

Psychologist #1: He said he was going to do his laundry, which is a really good sign.
Psychologist #2: Yeah, you can't want to commit suicide and want clean clothes.

Manhattan, New York