The Hamburglar Deserves Everything He Gets

Teenage girl to another: So you can do it! You are going to go there, have sex with him, and I am going to tickle it out of you!

McDonald’s
Nashville, Tennessee

Posted on August 29, 2019
Girls, Gossip, McDonald's, Offers and requests, Sex, Teens, Tennessee

Oh, Niles Crane, We’ve Missed You So

Middle aged yuppie on cell: You know what we need? An emergency wine kit.

Outside the Coliseum
Oakland, California

Overheard by: Danial

Posted on August 28, 2019
Advice, California, Drinking & drunks, Guys, Offers and requests, On the phone, Wishes, Yuppies

I Promise the Social Worker Isn't Watching

Oblivious 12-year-old in pool, surrounded by floaty toys: Hey, hold my noodle while I mount this whale.

Victoria
Canadia

Posted on August 2, 2019
Animals, Canadia, Food, Offers and requests, Toys, Tweens, Weirdness

And Uncle Walter Won’t Stop Poking Me

Distraught sorority girl: My mom won’t accept my friend request on Facebook!
Sisters, collectively: Awwwwww.

Social Psychology Class
Florida

Overheard by: Dr. Ian Maxwell von Indypants

Posted on July 22, 2019
Class, Family ties, Feelings, Florida, Friends, Girls, Internet, Offers and requests, Sorority types

How the Woodland Park Zoo Became a Disco Inferno

Trashy mom trying to get toddler to leave an animal exhibit: Get over here or I’ll whop your butt!
(five seconds later) And give me back my lighter!

Woodland Park Zoo
Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Jenster

Posted on June 30, 2019
Default, Insults, Kids, Moms, Offers and requests, Parenting, Smoking, Threats, Tourist attractions, Washington

The Difference Between Quality and Quantity Eludes Many Americans

Pouting newlywed wife: I feel like we don't spend enough time together.
Seething newlywed husband: (grinds teeth)
Pouting newlywed wife: Enough quality time.
Seething newlywed husband: (remains silent)
Pouting newlywed wife: Would you like me to tell you what quality time is?
Seething newlywed husband: (about to speak, thinks better of it)
Pouting newlywed wife: 23 hours a day.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/465741992/one-hour-is-plenty-of-time-for-a-lot-of-drugs.html

Overheard by: good, that leaves one hour for him to think of a response

Posted on June 16, 2019
Couples, Default, Girls, Guys, Offers and requests, Overheard in Minneapolis, Questions, Relationships

While You Live in My House, You'll Share My Ignorance

Whining toddler: Mommy, I want that book!
Yelling mother: You can't read!

Dalton Booksellers
Jefferson Valley, New York

Posted on May 19, 2019
Books, Default, Family ties, Kids, Moms, New York, Offers and requests, Stores, Women

A Mom Can Dream, Can’t She?

Angry mother on the bus: Come here and sit down!
Four-year-old: No, it’s okay. I’m being good.
Angry mother: This bus is going to stop suddenly and you’re going to fall down and crack your head open on one of the bars, and before the bus gets back around to the hospital you will bleed to death!

Pullman, Washington

Overheard by: jeff

Posted on March 25, 2019
Advice, Bus, Death & dying, Kids, Moms, Offers and requests, Public transportation, Threats, Violence, Washington, Weirdness

Just Remember, “A Friend in Bed Is a Friend in Head”

Guy on cell: So, when are you coming back? You know, anytime you wanna come up here, you got a cock waiting for you.

Hoboken, New Jersey

Overheard by: Cris

Posted on March 20, 2019
Default, Guys, New Jersey, Offers and requests, On the phone, Penis, Questions, Sexuality

Colorado Libraries Are Full Of the Stuff

Geeky girl: You know, I’ve still got my ex-boyfriend’s mom’s library card.
Goth friend: …We should totally go and check out, like, animal porn with it.

Aurora, Colorado

Posted on March 5, 2019
Animals, Books, Colorado, Default, Dorks, Geeks & Nerds, Family ties, Friends, Girls, Goths, Offers and requests, Porn, Relationships, Weirdness

Offers and requests