You Wanna Do That, the Army's Recruiting Right Down the Block

Customer having lunch: Can I smoke at this table?
Waitress: Honey, you're in Nevada. You can smoke, gamble, drink, screw and cuss. Just don't kill nobody!

Bucket of Blood Saloon
Virgina City, Nevada

Overheard by: Philly Joe

Posted on November 1, 2022
Bars & Clubs, Crimes, Customers, Default, Drinking & drunks, Employees, Murder, Nevada, Offers and requests, Questions, Smoking, US Geography, Women

Yeah. I Guess.

Guy: Men are bastards. I'm a man.
Girl: Then what does that make you?
Guy: Huh?
Girl: You said men are bastards. So then what does that make you?
Guy, not paying attention: Wanna dance?

Norman, Oklahoma

Posted on October 17, 2022
Dancing, Gender issues, Girls, Guys, Insults, Offers and requests, Oklahoma

I Hunger

Six-year-old boy to uncle about to leave for a trip: Bring me a woman!

Simi Valley, California

Posted on September 27, 2022
California, Default, Guys, Kids, Offers and requests, Sexuality

…Okay, Now You're Just Doing It on Purpose

Mother in bathroom stall with four-year-old son: No, no, you're peeing on mommy. Aim lower! Aim lower!

Chili's
Augusta, Georgia

Posted on September 11, 2022
Bars & Clubs, Georgia, Moms, Offers and requests, Parenting, Pee

If You've Ever Waited Weeks for Grades, You'll Understand the Applause

Professor, throwing exams on desk the day after taking them: I graded all of these. I want applause.
(class applauds)

UMass
Amherst, Massachusetts

Posted on September 6, 2022
Colleges & Universities, Default, Education, Jobs & Careers, Massachusetts, Offers and requests, Teachers

Is That a “Yes” on Hiring Her?

Man to friend: She makes me want to cheat on my wife in front of my wife.

Exchange Place, New Jersey

Overheard by: John

Posted on August 30, 2022
Friends, Infidelity, New Jersey, Offers and requests, Stupidity, Wishes

In One Of Those Containers That’s Like a Bowl, but It Has a Handle

Customer: Do you have any tea that’s like coffee only it isn’t caffeinated like coffee… But it tastes like coffee?
Barista: Uh, you mean decaf coffee?
Customer: Yes! That’s exactly what I want. I’ll have a decaf coffee.

Red Brick Coffee Pub
Guelph
Ontario, Canadia

Posted on August 25, 2022
Baristas, Bars & Clubs, Canadia, Customers, Default, Food, Offers and requests, Stupidity

And Let’s Get Some Chewing Tobacco to Spit

Girl, to two guys smoking in a bar: Oh my gosh! Smoking? Gross! (walks away, disgusted)
Guy #1: You wanna follow her and smoke?
Guy #2: Hell yeah, I do.

Denver, Colorado

Posted on August 4, 2022
Colorado, Default, Girls, Guys, Offers and requests, Questions, Smoking, Wishes

The Long-Awaited Follow-up to “My Humps”

Little girl #1 (holding a Patrick Star toy): Mommy, mommy! Can I get this?
Scary mom: No.
Little girl #1: Why?
Scary mom: Because last time we bought one of those was the day you had your seizure.
Little girl #1 (running around the store and flapping her arms): My seizure, my seizure!
Little girl #2 (also running and flapping): Your seizure, your seizure!

Kings Island, Ohio

Posted on July 20, 2022
Default, Girls, Health & Hygiene, Kids, Maladies, Moms, Offers and requests, Ohio, Questions, Weirdness

And You Thought Picking Up Girls at Funerals Was Bad

Girlfriend on packed, stopped train: I'm bored. Tell me a story.
Boyfriend: I remember the first time I saw you…you were crying…sitting outside the abortion clinic. I gave you my hankie.

Yellow Train
Washington, DC

Overheard by: entertained next to them

Posted on July 15, 2022
Abortion, Couples, Default, Feelings, Girls, Guys, Memory lane, Offers and requests, Relationships, Train, Washington, DC, Weirdness

Offers and requests