Eh, Suze Orman's Just a Little Quirky.

Middle-aged suit on cell: Yeah… Well, I don't know. (pause) Doesn't she have Alzheimer's? (pause) I don't care if she's your mother. (pause) Yeah, well, maybe she shouldn't be trading your stocks, then.

Manhattan, New York

Overheard by: mo

Posted on June 21, 2015
Family ties, Maladies, New York, On the phone, Questions, Suits

“A” As in “Adolph,” “F” As in “Final Solution”…

Indian lady on crowed bus on cell: Yes. 'h' as in 'Hitler.'

Louisville, Kentucky

Overheard by: Not Me

Posted on June 19, 2015
About celebrities, Kentucky, On the phone, Weirdness, Women, Words

And Burroing in for the Winter

Women in heels on cell: What? You had sex with a junkie? A junkie? (pause) Oh, a *donkey*. I see. (pause) So I guess you were drunk.

Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: walking & talking

Posted on June 15, 2015
Animals, Compare and contrast, Default, Drinking & drunks, Massachusetts, On the phone, Questions, Sex, Women, Words

That's the Olive Garden's Call-Ahead Policy, Ma'am

Loud girl on cell: No embalming for me! I just wanna rot!

National Zoo
Washington, DC

Overheard by: Joe

Posted on June 13, 2015
Death & dying, Girls, On the phone, Washington, DC, Wishes

We Named Them After the Kids on Seventh Heaven

Woman on cell waiting in line for lunch: Oh, to keep you in the loop, we are not getting pregnant any time soon. There is like no sperm. They said there were eight, but they were retarded.

Richmond, Virginia

Posted on June 7, 2015
Default, On the phone, Pregnancy, Virginia, Women

Though, to Be Fair, the Bicycle Had No Bell.

Girl #1: My grandfather has won the Nobel Prize!
Girl #2: Really?
Girl #1: Yeah, he has one of those trophies in his bookshelf!
Janitor, walking in: Are you sure it was the Nobel Prize?
Girl #1: Yes, I am! Don't you believe me? I'm gonna call him and ask! (proceeds to call, hangs up sounding disappointed)
Janitor: Well?
Girl #1: Oh, it was not the Nobel Prize. It was only from a bicycle race.

High School
Sweden

Overheard by: Malin

Posted on June 5, 2015
Bragging, Family ties, Old folks, On the phone, Questions, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Students, Sweden, Teachers

Hey, You’re the Experienced Pet-Sitter!

Cashier on cell phone: I mean… What’s the problem? Ejaculating? Is he ejaculating too much or too little? Which is the problem?

Shoprite
New Jersey

Overheard by: allison

Posted on June 4, 2015
Cum, Default, Employees, Etiquette, Gripes, New Jersey, On the phone, Questions, Relationships, Stores

This Quote Is Better Birth Control Than a Condom

Scruffy ponytail dude on cell: Is the dog oozing or pulsing? Tell your brother to stop squeezing the guinea pig, I can hear it squealing! (pause) Yes I can! Yes I can, Ruth*! (pause) Oh, sorry, I guess grandma sneezing does sound like the guinea pig… Just wrap the dog in a towel and I'll be home in an hour.

Tampa, Florida

Posted on June 3, 2015
Animals, Florida, Health & Hygiene, On the phone, Weirdness

I Blame the Dora the Explorer Movies

Guy on cell: I would be walking, and suddenly the word “vaginas” with a massive smiley face beside would pop into my head, as if my brain was trying to tell me it's fun… like a children's book.

Winnipeg
Canadia

Overheard by: Chad

Posted on December 8, 2014
Books, Canadia, Compare and contrast, Guys, On the phone, Vagina, Words

Seems Rather a Moat Point

Middle aged man on phone: Maraud my castle?

Bath
England

Overheard by: Clara Lee

Posted on December 6, 2014
England, Guys, On the phone, Questions, Violence

On the phone