Dear Gays and Lesbians– Sure You Want This?

Sexy businesswoman on cell: No, I'll be here at the office for at least four or five more hours, honey. Love you. Bye. (sits down at bar next to young man and rubs his crotch) Husband's taken care of.

Circle Centre Mall
Indianapolis, Indiana

Overheard by: Shatmandu

Posted on December 7, 2008
Default, Indiana, Infidelity, Jobs & Careers, Lies, Malls, On the phone, Suits, Time Management, Women

So That My Dear Aunt's Funeral Will Never Be Forgotten

Guy on phone: I'm going to titty fuck her on the casket.

Melbourne
Australia

Overheard by: kOLT

Posted on December 7, 2008
Australia, Default, Guys, On the phone, Sex, Weirdness, Words

One Where He's Not Wearing a Human-Skin Vest

Girl on cell: Yeah, he's a friend of my friend in California. He killed those two people… Oh, you saw him on the news? That's a shitty picture they have of him on tv, I hope they get a better picture soon.

University of Washington
Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: trying to study here

Posted on December 2, 2008
Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Default, Girls, Murder, On the phone, Washington, Weirdness

It's the Guardian of Our Collective Chastity

Girl on cell: Why are you going to the gynecologist? (pause) Everybody has discharge!

Beaverton, Oregon

Overheard by: CoRri

Posted on November 20, 2008
Default, Girls, Maladies, On the phone, Oregon, Questions

The Michigan State AA Chapter Didn't Quite Get the Point

Frat boy on cell: I am going to get so wasted! I'm going to get wasted on water. I will drink so much water that I'll be like, “Ahhh, I'm drowning in water!” I will be that fucking drunk, bro. With water!

Michigan State University

Posted on November 19, 2008
Colleges & Universities, Default, Drinking & drunks, Frat boy types, Michigan, On the phone, Weirdness

…Well, You Say I Never Communicate!

Teenage cart boy on cell: I'm at GIANT right now. I just have to go home and take a shit and I'll be fine.

GIANT
Lehighton, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Missy

Posted on November 16, 2008
Default, Feelings, Guys, On the phone, Pennsylvania, Poop, Stores, Teens

From the Long-Awaited Sequel, Dude, Where's My Conscience?

Guy on phone with friend: Yeah, but I think Tommy's grandparents died, so his house might be on for the party if his parents are out of town.

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: 8 Day Charm

Posted on November 12, 2008
Death & dying, Default, Family ties, Guys, On the phone, Pennsylvania, Weirdness

Why Do You Ask, Senator?

Girl on cell: Yes, I have purple underwear.

Metro Bus
Washington, DC

Overheard by: Under where?

Posted on November 1, 2008
Bus, Default, Girls, On the phone, Undies, Washington, DC

Then I'm Afraid There'll Be No Way Around Our Necromany Fee

Woman in cell phone store: I want to change the billing name on this account.
Employee: I'm sorry, we can't allow you to make changes on this account. You're not the primary account-holder.
Woman: Right. The primary account holder died.
Employee: I'm sorry, only the primary account-holder can make changes to the account.
Woman: He's dead!

Verizon Store
Grand Rapids, Michigan

Posted on November 1, 2008
Customers, Death & dying, Default, Employees, Michigan, Names, Offers and requests, On the phone, Stores, Stupidity, Wishes, Women

Bottom Line: Can I Borrow a Pickle and Some Duct Tape?

Girl on cell: And I'm like “If you get to fuck me in the ass, then I get to fuck you!” Yeah, except then he's like, “Okay, sweet!” and I'm like, “Shit, that backfired.”

University LRT Station
Calgary
Canadia

Overheard by: thrilled commuter

Posted on October 28, 2008
Backdoor, Canadia, Compare and contrast, Default, Girls, On the phone, Threats, Train

On the phone