Parenting

Female yuppie: When my daughter was nine months old, she was eating tiramisu… with espresso in it!

Oklahoma City, Oklahoma

Overheard by: Kab00m

Mom to toddler girl: What fish should we get today? Salmon or tilapia or flounder?
Toddler girl: Is that “flounder” like in Little Mermaid?
Mom: Well, it's a fish, like flounder was.
Toddler girl: I want to eat flounder! Let's cook him. Mommy, can we eat Nemo too?

Costco
Fairfax, Virginia

Mother to daughter: I think it's time to cut your hair again.
Daughter: No! I don't want it cut! You only cut it a few weeks ago! It's not fair! Why can't I have long hair? (pointing at passenger) She has long hair! (pointing at girl) She has long hair. Everyone has long hair except for me!
Son, smugly: Except for boys. (pause) But daddy has long hair…
Daughter: Even daddy has long hair! She has long hair, she has long hair–everyone has long hair except for me!

Perth
Australia

Overheard by: Emily B.

Mom: I'll shoot you, then you'll shoot me, and we won't have to go anywhere.
Daughter: Mom…?
Mom: What? I'm just saying. If we shot each other we couldn't go anywhere, anyways.

Dressing Room in Mall
Pennsylvania

Little boy, gleefully wiping chocolate on his father's white pants: I'm wiping your butt! Haha! I'm wiping your butt!

Ann Arbor, Michigan

20-something woman to little girl's mother: Do you know who is Boy George?
Little girl: He is a boy that would've wanted to be a woman.
Amused mother: I couldn't have explained that better.

Guadalajara
Mexico

Overheard by: passerby

Seven-year-old boy to mom: So, mom, all the kids in camp were making fun of this one boy cuz he was a stinky Yankees fan and we're all Mets fans!
Mom: Honey, if mommy can marry a Republican, than you can be friends with a Yankees fan.

Manhattan, New York

Overheard by: Laura

Little boy: Mommy, come here! I have a present for you!
(mom comes over, little boy proceeds to dump a bucket of water over her head).
Little boy: Did you like it?
Mom: No.
(little boy dumps another bucket of water on her head)

Neighborhood Pool
New Jersey

Overheard by: CMac

Biology teacher: Can anyone give me an example of a parasite?
Girl: A baby!

Madison, Wisconsin

Overheard by: Tangent

Teenager, noticing little girl being led around by her mother on a leash: Look! White people be putting their kids on leashes!

The Galleria
St. Louis, Missouri