She Has Everything I've Always Wanted, and a Little Something More

Suit on cell: Oh, did I tell you I met someone? (pause) Her name is Brian.

Civic Center Farmer's Market
San Francisco, California

Posted on August 1, 2015
California, Default, Names, On the phone, Queers, Questions, Sexuality, Stores, Suits

This Would Explain a Lot About Our Foreign Policy

Boyfriend: I couldn't get a new movie. The good ones were all out. I got this other one, though. The guy told me it was really good.
Girlfriend: What's the name of it?
Boyfriend: Just Cuz!
Girlfriend, looking at jacket: You mean Just Cause?

Norwich, Connecticut

Posted on August 1, 2015
Connecticut, Couples, Movies, Names, Questions

Because I Sure Do, As Those of You Who Are My Facebook Friends Know

Physics professor: What do you do to amuse yourselves? You don't play with yourselves?

Guelph
Canadia

Posted on August 1, 2015
Canadia, Default, Feelings, Leisure, Masturbation, Questions, Teachers, Words

As Evidenced by the Last Election

Metro cop addressing large crowd waiting for the orange line: Keep moving down the platform. Move down, please!
Tired tourist mom: Move down, honey.
Little girl: Why?
Tired tourist mom: Because we're sheep, that's why.

Smithsonian Station, DC Metro
Washington, DC

Posted on July 31, 2015
Animals, Cops, Default, Family ties, Girls, Kids, Moms, Public transportation, Questions, Tourists, Washington, DC

Here, I Brought Some to Share With You

Laughing girl: So I was smelling his dirty socks and stuff…
Friends: What?!

Acadia University
Wolfville, Nova Scotia
Canadia

Overheard by: wondering why…

Posted on July 31, 2015
Canadia, Clothes, Colleges & Universities, Default, Friends, Girls, Questions, Weirdness

And How Do I Get That Job?

Woman on cell, after next bus stop is announced: Did you hear that? The woman giving the announcement? It's the same woman every time. I wonder where she is.

eavesdropdc.blogspot.com

Posted on July 30, 2015
Eavesdrop DC, On the phone, Public transportation, Questions, Stupidity, Women

Well, Yes, and by 'Yes' I Mean 'No.'

Girl: If Mary was a virgin, wouldn't Jesus have had to kick through the placenta to be born?

Toronto
Canadia

Overheard by: Can't stop thinking about that now at Christmas

Posted on July 30, 2015
Birthing, Body parts, Canadia, Girls, Jesus, Questions, Stupidity, Virginity

But I’ll Settle for This Eightball

Mom: Honey, do you wanna take off your princess dress, get naked, and get in a bucket?
Four-year-old aspiring princess: No.
Mom: Well, I do.

North Carolina

Posted on July 29, 2015
Kids, Moms, North Carolina, Questions

So I Hooked Up With His Friend

Coed #1: So we're finally officially dating. I mean it's been, like, six months!
Coed #2: Great! That's moving forward!
Coed #1: Yeah. He said the first six months I was on “dating probation” and now I'm on “girlfriend probation.” His friend got drunk at the bar and was all like “what, you haven't made her official yet?” so he's like, “you have my friend to thank for this.”

UNCG
Greensboro, North Carolina

Overheard by: Put him on boyfriend probation

Posted on July 29, 2015
Colleges & Universities, Compliments, Default, Drinking & drunks, North Carolina, Questions, Relationships, Students

It's the Only Possible Motivation to Teach at a Texas Public School?

Teacher: I got a question for you guys… If you're flying at 50,000 feet and the left rear tire falls off your canoe, how many pancakes does it take to cover a doghouse and why?
Students: What the fuck?
Teacher: Clearly, the answer is 7, cause ice cream has no bones!
Student #1: Why do they keep giving us teachers on crack?
Student #2: I dunno, man. I dunno…

Inside Freshman Classroom
El Paso, Texas

Posted on July 29, 2015
Class, Default, Drugs, Education, Questions, Science, Students, Teachers, Texas, Weirdness

Questions