Poetry girl: I've been so depressed all weekend.
Poetry guy: Well, why have you been so depressed?
Poetry girl: I wrote this poem about divorce, so I was thinking about divorce all weekend, and it just made me so depressed.
(long pause)
Poetry girl, loudly: Can you tell me about the human condition? I mean, can you really tell me about the human condition?
George Mason University
Fairfax County, Virginia
Overheard by: The Bu
Teacher: Okay, I want you to write down twenty words relating to one of your hobbies, and then write a poem about it.
Girl: Can we write it on surprise butt sex?
Teacher: Errrmmm…if you want?
School Classroom
Australia
Overheard by: i wrote mine on sport….
Waiter: How were the balls?
Blonde: Well, they were filling.
Cheesecake Factory
Providence, Rhode Island
Overheard by: Mallory
Drunk man: I may not have a home, but I'm not like homeless homeless…I take showers and usually smell good.
Drunk woman: And what does this have to do with blowjobs?
Pub
Orange County, California
Overheard by: Katie
Bimbette, inquiring about exam during review: Yeah, but, like — what if you, like, can’t think that hard?
Ohio University
Athens, Ohio
Guy to group of friends: I don't think I could ever do anything like that.
Girl: Oh, is this about the circle jerk?
Los Angeles, California
Girl #1: I mean, there's condoms for free in the student center! Why don't you guys use protection?!
Girl #2: Sigh. I don't know. I think because I'm a Gemini.
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Who has this conversation when I'm sitting right next to them?
The pilot is sitting in the cockpit making clicking noises and singing in a falsetto voice.
Flight attendant: Are you high?
On the runway
Dulles, Virginia
Overheard by: first class is scary
Boy #1: So, I never got what the difference was between liberals and conservatives.
Boy #2: Well, conservatives like big business, and liberals like communism.
Boy #1: Oh. What if I want to be both?
Boy #2: You can't be both. It's an on/off thing. Like, you're either pregnant or you're not. Or like you're Christian or you're Islam.
High School
Minnesota
Seven-year-old girl with speech impediment: I told everyone in class I was going to the Kentucky Derby.
Mother: Did people know what the Derby was?
Seven-year-old girl: Alicia didn't! She was like “what is the Derby?” but everyone else in the class knew!
Mother: Well, that is because she is from Russia.
Seven-year-old girl: And New Hampshire.
Mother: She's from Russia.
Seven-year-old girl: And New Hampshire?…I told her I was sorry she was adopted.
Southwest Flight above Chicago, Illinois
