And the State Will Take Both Of Us Away

Woman to four-year-old daughter: Do not touch anything. Do you know what will happen if you touch something?
Little girl: You'll smack me in the face!

Liquor Store
New Jersey

Posted on June 23, 2009
Kids, Moms, New Jersey, Questions, Stores, Threats, Violence, Weirdness

Or “Dy-no-miiiiite”?

Kooky English professor, leading discussion: Now, what if the raven had said “chicken soup”?

Birmingham-Southern College
Birmingham, Alabama

Overheard by: lenore

Posted on June 22, 2009
Alabama, Birds, Books, Class, Food, Questions, Stupidity, Teachers

We Sense an Imbalance in The Force

Stoned girl #1: We should go to Tops Yogurt soon!
Stoner girl #2 to stoned guy: Yeah! You should come!
Stoned guy: Why Tops? Why not bottoms?
Stoned girls, in unison: Yeah! Why Tops? Why not bottoms?!

Sacramento, California

Posted on June 20, 2009
California, Drugs, Food, Questions, Stoners, Stupidity

Just the Check Then?

Waitress: Do you all need anything else?
Black guy: Do ya'll have some salvation back there in the kitchen?
Black girl: Are you for real? You makin' me laugh so much I'm gonna need a bucket, ya'll got a bucket back there too?

Perkins
Indianapolis, Indiana

Overheard by: Deanna Gustav

Posted on June 19, 2009
Black people, Christianity, Default, Employees, Girls, Guys, Indiana, Offers and requests, Questions, Restaurants, Words

That's Where I Got the Idea for the Woodland-Creatures Baseball League

Girl to friend: So, I was just walkin' along and you know what that squirrel did?
Friend: What?
Girl: It threw a nut at my head!

Southern Illinois

Posted on June 16, 2009
Animals, Body parts, Default, Food, Friends, Girls, Illinois, Questions

It's Rare to Find a Young Man Who Thinks That Far Ahead

Five-year-old boy: Hey, I got an idea! Let's get naked!
Visiting adult friend: Yeah? And then what?
Five-year-old boy: We'll sit in the street!

Mason, Ohio

Overheard by: Rachel

Posted on June 16, 2009
Clothes, Default, Friends, Guys, Kids, Ohio, Questions

…As Seen in the Porno Take, Eat, This Is My Booty?

Asian teenage girl: Wait, so did Jesus ejaculate wine?

Starbucks
Red Bank, New Jersey

Posted on June 16, 2009
Asians, Cum, Default, Drinking & drunks, Girls, Jesus, New Jersey, Questions, Restaurants, Teens

I Thought All the Whack-Jobs Were on Capitol Hill?

Confused tourist lady, looking at anime convention kids in costume: Excuse me? Do you know what all of this is about?
Local: Yeah, the whack-job convention is in town.
Confused tourist lady: The…the…”whack-job” convention? (looks at costumes) Whack-jobs?
Local: (smacks forehead and turns away)

Washington, DC

Overheard by: Sarah Boyd