Questions

Guy on cell: So, when are you coming back? You know, anytime you wanna come up here, you got a cock waiting for you.

Hoboken, New Jersey

Overheard by: Cris

Guy: Do you have any money left?
Chunky 40-something man: 60 bucks, that should be enough to get me by until my mother gives me more.

Omaha, Nebraska

Overheard by: Kristin

Train guy: I just got in last night from Denver.
Train girl: Oh yeah? What part?
Train guy: Colorado.

South Shore Train
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Chubi

Psychology professor: What will your Prada bag get you? It doesn’t get you sex. All the men aren’t going to be like, ‘Oooh, Prada bag!’

Northwestern University
Evanston, Illinois

Sunday school teacher: We're going to play a fun game next! Does anybody want to guess what it is?
Five-year-old student: Take of our shirts and pants?
Sunday school teacher: No!

Sunday School Classroom
Fredericton
Canadia

Overheard by: Andrew

Student: How do you spell “wear”? W-e-a-r? (pause) That is the stupidest thing I've ever said.

San Diego, California

Spanish chick: Hey, you were in Auschwitz?
English guy: Yeah.
Spanish chick: Was it any fun?
English guy: Uhhh, I wouldn’t say that.
Spanish chick: Yeah, I know, I know… But was it cool?
English guy: Well… Hmmm…

Poland

Redneck: So then I woke up, and she was hitting me in the head because I passed out and she couldn't wake me up, even though she pulled my eyelids back and everything. So then I was like “Why are you so mad when we just went to the best rodeo of our life?”

Auburn, Alabama

Female heard through the wall, after giving blow job: That's all you have to say? “Thanks?”
Male, through wall: Moshi-moshi.
Female, exasperated: See, that's your problem! Half the time you don't even speak English anymore!
Male: That was “thank you” in Japanese.
Female: Oh.

Norman, Oklahoma

Security: What are you studying?
Girl checking books in X-ray machine: Proper oral technique.
Security: (snickers)
Girl: Dentistry!
Security: Oh.

Airpot
Newcastle
England