Relationships

Passenger #1: I broke up with my woman because she spends all her money on crack…she crazy.
Passenger #2: Ah, that's no good.
Passenger #1: I know…and pretty soon she gonna run out of money.
Passenger #2: Really?
Passenger #1: Yeah, I told her too many times ain't nobody gonna want a senior citizen as a prostitute.
Passenger #2: Damn.

Greyhound Bus
Montana

Film buff: What I want is to wake up next to a girl who I can have a great conversation with — someone I really want to talk to. And if I woke up next to Toshiro Mifune, that’d be interesting.

Northcote
Australia

College girl to college guy: So you won't marry me but you'll procreate with me?

Glendale, Wisconsin

Girl #1: So do you have any friends who are total disasters like us, who would want to go to Vegas that weekend?
Girl #2: I have a friend who's getting an abortion next week.
Girl #1: Oh, good, so she'll be good to go by then.

Bar
Phoenix, Arizona

Overheard by: Orkide

20-something girl to friends: And I was like, he was my first ugly boyfriend and my first kiss, and I was like “grandma!”

Maxwell’s
Cedarburg, Wisconsin

Overheard by: and i was like, what?!

College girl, yelling at friend: I mean, I hooked up with everyone in Sigma Nu before I was dating him! Why wouldn't I keep hooking up with everyone in Sigma Nu now?

Starbucks
Los Angeles, California

20-something girl: Like, he's such a nice guy…I don't even suck in my gut when we're lying next to each other in bed anymore.
Friend: Aww…that's true love.

Yorkville
Toronto
Canadia

Cashier on cell phone: I mean… What’s the problem? Ejaculating? Is he ejaculating too much or too little? Which is the problem?

Shoprite
New Jersey

Overheard by: allison

Dirty casanova: So, I’m going out with Sarah, and when she leaves Montreal I’m going out with Sarah… The other one. I don’t put all my eggs in one Sarah.

http://www.overheardatmcgill.com/archives/2007/05/10/easter-bunny-i-know-exactly-what-you-mean/

Woman on cell: I just asked how’s he doing and he actually told me that he’s getting hard just talking to me. [Pause.] Well, what do you think I would say? “Oh ,that’s nice”!? Hell no! I said: “Oh crap! Sorry, I have another call, gotta go”. Yeah, that was definitely odd. Remind me never to be nice and try calling my exes again.

Florida