Loud woman in restaurant: I'm discreet! My ad says I am!
Merrifield, Virginia
Overheard by: Ihatewhores
Loud woman in restaurant: I'm discreet! My ad says I am!
Merrifield, Virginia
Overheard by: Ihatewhores
Entitled middle-aged anorexic: I'll have the Cobb salad with no croutons, no bacon, no egg, no cheese, and no avocado, with the chicken on a separate plate.
Sheepish waitress: That just leaves lettuce, tomato, and olives. You sure that's all you want, ma'am?
Entitled middle-aged anorexic: I'm sure.
Sheepish waitress: It'd be cheaper to get a side salad and just add chicken.
Entitled middle-aged anorexic: No, I want a Cobb salad.
Sheepish waitress: It would be the same thing without all the toppings.
Entitled middle-aged anorexic: I. Want. A. Cobb. Salad!
Sheepish waitress: Yes, ma'am. What kind of dressing would you like?
Entitled middle-aged anorexic: No dressing, please.
Sheepish waitress: Yes, ma'am.
TGI Friday's
Virginia
Black girl #1: Okay, I know what I’m getting. Do you know what you’re getting?
White girl: I’ve never been here before. Let me look for a while. [Pauses, then yells.] Wait a minute! Popeye’s a sailor; Why does he sell chicken?
Black girl #2: Oh my god, shut up now or no more vodka for you for the rest of the night!
White girl: Okay. [Giggles.] I’m sorry.
[Black girls start talking to each other.]White girl, yelling: Why are there no white people in here?!
Black girl #1: Aww fuck, take her outside to the car. This is her first and last time ever coming here!
Popeye’s
Trenton, New Jersey
Drunk woman: … And that’s how my parents hooked up! My dad was a drunk dialer!
Outside George’s
Waco, Texas
Man: What does it say in the bible about punching your son in the face?
Starbucks
Durham, North Carolina
Overheard by: wondering the same thing myself
Middle-aged American tourist woman: The rooms here have strange plugs, I simply cannot use my curling iron! This is outrageous… I want to see the manager immediately!
Hotel Restaurant
Munich
Germany
Overheard by: Dru
(mother pouring sugar in her coffee)
Little boy: Mom, why do you drink dirty water?
Mother: Because of you.
Starbucks
Chicago, Illinois
Guy in Mexican restaurant: Have you ever met the Pope?
Girl in Mexican restaurant: No. He's dead.
Groton, Connecticut
Overheard by: Newt
Lady to guy eating a sub: But both mine and his parents' are life-sized!
Sub Factory
Tempe, Arizona
Plus-size sistah: And that damn condom came off!
Friend: Oh, shit, girl! What happened?
Plus-size sistah: I dunno. It's still up in there.
Friend: What? How long?
Plus-size sistah: It's been three days. I can't reach that bitch!
Friend: Girl! That's nasty! And if you askin' what I think you askin', you can forget it!
Restaurant, Chinatown
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Joe
