Guy to girl with gum: Can I have a piece of gum?
Girl: Sure, but it kind of tastes like dirt.
Guy in back of class: Ooooooh! Can I please have a piece?
Midlandstech, South Carolina
Guy to girl with gum: Can I have a piece of gum?
Girl: Sure, but it kind of tastes like dirt.
Guy in back of class: Ooooooh! Can I please have a piece?
Midlandstech, South Carolina
Hostess describing rose and black lady tea combo: Smells like rose, tastes like lady.
Beijing
China
Girl one: Smell my face. Smell right here. Doesn’t it smell great? The stripper I got a lap dance from was wearing great perfume.
Girl two: It smells like pickles.
Toby Keith’s Restaurant
Las Vegas, Nevada
Overheard by: At least it doesn’t smell like tuna
Professor: And tomorrow, we'll talk about the suck knob.
University of Hartford
Connecticut
Guy to girl in bar: What did you have, some of that Blood of Christ?
Girl: Yeah!
Guy: Yeah?!
Girl: Yeah! It's yummy!
Bar
Lincoln, Nebraska
Overheard by: Jill
Woman #1 in central Taipei: When she went to the us, she took along several boxes of detergent, because she doesn't like the smell of American detergent.
Woman #2: Yeah, I wouldn't want to smell like an American either.
http://talovich.blogspot.com/2008_04_01_archive.html#6968192168432224567
Overheard by: Yugan
Teacher: Okay, now what you do think is the chance of being killed by being struck by lightning?
Bimbette: Ummmm… probably like, one in two.
Class: (silence)
Teacher: One in two?
Bimbette: Wait! Make that one in ten.
Classroom
Sydney
Australia
Mom to three-year-old son under the table: Whatcha’ doin’ under there, buddy?
Three-year-old son: Playing volleyball.
Dad: Volleyball? Smells like you’re pooping your pants.
Three-year-old son, giggling: I am.
Three-year-old son’s sister to friend: See, I told you it wasn’t the food.
Los Tres Amigos Mexican Restaurant
Michigan
Overheard by: Scott
(student coughs violently into hands, spewing fake blood)
Lit professor: Oh my god! Are you okay?
Student: (coughing up more blood) Can I go to the bathroom?
Lit professor: Oh my god, go, go!
(student leaves)
Lit professor: (realizing it’s April 1st) Haha… His consumption smells like raspberries.
Colorado University, Boulder
Overheard by: In the back of the classroom
Hobo #1, holding sneaker, to another: Put that shoe on!
Hobo #2: Man, I don't want to sweat in the shoe. That'll make my feet stink!
Hobo #1: Man, what the fuck you worried about? Your feet already stink. I can smell them from here. Those people can smell them from here. Now put on your goddamn shoes and tie that shit up tight. No one wants to smell what you got. Now I'm going to stand here and watch you tie those shoes for the good of everyone on this train.
(others on train applaud)
MARTA Train
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Finally, a humanitarian homeless man
