Stores

Fast-walking emo kid: There is no slowing down when it comes to me and High School Musical.

Wal-Mart
Roanoke, Virginia

Overheard by: snarky writer

Man shopping with wife: Well, I recognize that someday I just won't need all my body parts.

Target Store
Augusta, Maine

20-something geek to friends: I'm telling you guys, The Big Bang Theory is for us what Sex and the City was for lonely, depressed women.

Comic Book Shop
Metairie, Louisiana

Bagger to cashier: There's something mildly strange about a package that contains breasts… from different chickens.

Whole Foods
Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: They were thighs actually, but I see your point.

Girl, wearing leather pants and high heels, pushing a cart containing D batteries, duct tape, and huge bag of rice, on cell: I don’t know why he’s so smug, I told him what I would do to him if I caught him again. [pause] Okay, well I’ve almost got everything I need, I’ll be right over.

Wal-Mart
Lufkin, Texas

Overheard by: wtf?

Whining toddler: Mommy, I want that book!
Yelling mother: You can't read!

Dalton Booksellers
Jefferson Valley, New York

Kid: I wish I was as fat as you, mummy.
Mother: Mummy should not have had that ice cream.

GAP Fitting Room
Tunbridge Wells
England

Overheard by: Jim Giraffe

Black woman, to friend: I love Costco. It makes me like, want to have five kids.

Costco
King of Prussia, Pennsylvania

Middle-aged black woman to husband: Baby, you remember that time I shot you?

CVS
Indianapolis, Indiana

Young guy on cell: You got a bikini wax?… Really?… How come you never did that when we were together?… Oh, so you’re a woman now?

7-Eleven
Edmonton, Alberta
Canadia