Guy on cell: Yeah, I hooked up with her. [pause] I fucked her. She was tight. [pause] She hasn’t called me back. I don’t get why it’s so hard to take five seconds out of your day to see how I’m doing. [pause] She’s, like, Asian. Half Asian and half alien.
Barnes & Noble
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Hobo
Little boy, grabbing his crotch and jumping up and down: Gotcha! Gotcha! Gotcha!
Target
New Jersey
Overheard by: Jo
[husband and wife are pushing stroller through the mall. Suddenly another man rushes up and picks the husband up, twirling him around while everyone cracks up]Man, looking over at child: Wow, that would be a really awkward first memory!
Spotsylvania Towne Centre
Fredericksburg, Virginia
Overheard by: That Girl In The Kiosk
Girl, looking at video games: If I had a sword that pimp, I would just kill people all day and run around.
Boy following her: Girl, if you had a sword that pimp I would stop being gay and make you stop to make love to me.
Girl, looking appalled: I’d be busy killing people, though.
Boy, matter-of-factly: Well… I’d make you stop every thirteen kills.
Random Walmart
Boise, Idaho
Overheard by: Bunnee
Lady on cell: Just because she's wearing big-girl panties doesn't mean she's not your baby.
Target
Midwest City, Okahoma
College girl, handing heavy basket to boyfriend: I’m all for feminism, but I don’t like carrying heavy things.
Target
Towson, Maryland
Overheard by: Kay-ren
Little boy, in sing-song: I believe I can fly! I believe I can… die!
Sales clerk: That's the sad version.
JC Penney
Columbia, Missouri
Fast-walking emo kid: There is no slowing down when it comes to me and High School Musical.
Wal-Mart
Roanoke, Virginia
Overheard by: snarky writer
Man shopping with wife: Well, I recognize that someday I just won't need all my body parts.
Target Store
Augusta, Maine
20-something geek to friends: I'm telling you guys, The Big Bang Theory is for us what Sex and the City was for lonely, depressed women.
Comic Book Shop
Metairie, Louisiana
