Bloated Bellies Are the New Six-Pack

Drunk guy holding a forty: Malt liquor. This is going to get us buff, yo.

Toronto
Canadia

Overheard by: Meech

Posted on August 1, 2015
Canadia, Drinking & drunks, Drunks, Stupidity

And How Do I Get That Job?

Woman on cell, after next bus stop is announced: Did you hear that? The woman giving the announcement? It's the same woman every time. I wonder where she is.

eavesdropdc.blogspot.com

Posted on July 30, 2015
Eavesdrop DC, On the phone, Public transportation, Questions, Stupidity, Women

Well, Yes, and by 'Yes' I Mean 'No.'

Girl: If Mary was a virgin, wouldn't Jesus have had to kick through the placenta to be born?

Toronto
Canadia

Overheard by: Can't stop thinking about that now at Christmas

Posted on July 30, 2015
Birthing, Body parts, Canadia, Girls, Jesus, Questions, Stupidity, Virginity

I'm Writing You a Prescription for the History Channel

Customer: Excuse me. I just have to know, are you Polynesian?
Worker: No, I'm Native American.
Customer: Oh. Where are they from?

Utah

Posted on July 29, 2015
Customers, Default, Employees, Geography, Questions, Stupidity, US Geography, Utah, Weirdness

We’re Hoping She Stays Out of the Minibar

Blonde on cell: We got a nice hotel room for our cat.

Montgomery and California
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: Ladle

Posted on July 25, 2015
Animals, California, Default, Holidays, Idiots, On the phone, Stupidity, Weirdness, Women

Why Does Everyone Keep Telling Me That?

Guy with soul patch: Don't German people always drive at 200 miles an hour all the time?
Girl in front row, sarcastically: I think you mean 200 kilometers per hour.
Guy with soul patch: It doesn't matter, they're the same thing!
Professor, calmly: If I go crazy and start a killing spree, you'll be the first one I get.

George Washington University
Washington, DC

Posted on July 25, 2015
Colleges & Universities, Death & dying, Education, Stupidity, Teachers, Washington, DC, Words

But He Proved You’ll Be Easy to Have

Dude: What’s fourteen plus nine?
Chick, confidently: Twenty-one.
Dude: Damn, you’re fast.
Chick: Haha, you thought you almost had me there!

http://www.overheardatmcgill.com/

Posted on July 24, 2015
Couples, Overheard at McGill, Stupidity

When Ward Was Out of Town, June Left Beaver with Wally and Went Barhopping

Guy: So, what do you do?
Woman: Well, I’m actually a homemaker.
Guy: … Oh! So you’re, like, in construction? That’s cool.

http://www.overheardinminneapolis.com/2007/07/well_the_hours_are_probably_si.html

Overheard by: DRB

Posted on July 24, 2015
Default, Guys, Minnesota, Questions, Stupidity, Women, Words

In the Sense That They Both Have Fewer Than Six Letters

Middle school boy: They could solve world hunger if they just kept cloning lots of sheep.
Friend: Aren't sheep like, tofu?

Radnor, Pennsylvania

Posted on July 24, 2015
Default, Food, Friends, Guys, Pennsylvania, Questions, Science, Stupidity, Tweens

I Believe Fingerpainting and Paste-Eating Are Down the Hall

Dumb blonde: Wait, wasn't Columbus the first president? That's why we have Columbus day!
Professor, calmly: Get out, please.

University of Michigan

Overheard by: getout

Posted on July 24, 2015
Colleges & Universities, Education, History, Idiots, Michigan, Stupidity, Teachers

Stupidity