What the Fuck Is Going on in Leamington Spa??

Very drunk 20-something girl in miniskirt #1, singing: Fill my hole, fill my hole, fill my hole, fuh-uh-illlll my hole!
Very drunk 20-something in miniskirt #2#: Becky*! Don't sing that!
Very drunk 20-something girl in miniskirt #1#, singing off key: But I just waaaaant you to fuh-illll mah ho-alll!
Very drunk 20-something girl in miniskirt #2# to passing man: She's training to be a vet. She's not usually like this, she's had a bit too much to drink.
Man: Yeah… She wants someone to fill her hole.
Very drunk 20-something girl in miniskirt #1#: I'm not drunk!
Man: I believe you.
(very drunk 20-something girl in miniskirt 1# holds hand over mouth and impressively sprays vomit in five directions)
Very drunk 20-something in miniskirt #2#: Becky*, I think we're going to have to get a taxi…

Leamington Spa
England

Overheard by: Bleep

Posted on July 10, 2015
Drinking & drunks, Drunks, England, Etiquette, Sex, Stupidity, Wishes

Gay People Love Having Straight People Speak for Them

Tourist: So, basically, people go to Castro to stare at the gay people making out?
Passenger: Well, the gay people feel more comfortable making out there… Because people aren't staring at them…

Berkeley, California

Posted on July 10, 2015
California, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, Questions, Sexuality, Stupidity, Tourists

At Least There's No Violin Shortage

Starbucks employee: Actually, most of the stores in the city are out of soy today.
Pompous customer: Well, what am I supposed to do? Starve?

Starbucks
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Ho Lexington III

Posted on July 9, 2015
Bringing it back to you, Customers, Employees, Food, Pennsylvania, Restaurants, Stupidity

So Anyway, Welcome to Cougar Lit 101

Female English professor on the first day of class: So tell me as much about me as you can by my appearance. What kind of person do you think I am?
Student: I think you were probably a wild teenager. You've got a tattoo and a tongue piercing.
Female English professor (chuckling): I've got more tattoos and piercings than you care to know about.

Community College
Elizabethtown, Kentucky

Overheard by: Chelsea

Posted on July 9, 2015
Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Default, Kentucky, Offers and requests, Questions, Students, Stupidity, Tattoos, Teachers

From Now On, I’m Smoking with the Other End

Korean queer, smoking: I heard oral sex gives you more throat cancer than cigarettes.

Dida’s Bar
Sao Paulo
Brazil

Posted on July 9, 2015
Bars & Clubs, BJs, Brazil, Compare and contrast, Default, Maladies, Queers, Stupidity

Or Something, Yes

Freshmen: So, like, where do you want to go college?
Junior: Oh, I don’t know… Maybe somewhere around the New England area?
Freshmen: Oh… So, like, where is that? In Britain or something?

Winston-Salem, North Carolina

Overheard by: Dumbstruck