20-something guy, entering taqueria with friends: There better be a midget in a sombrero offering me salsa as soon as I get in the door, or I'm gonna be pissed.
San Francisco, Calfornia
Overheard by: Alex
20-something guy, entering taqueria with friends: There better be a midget in a sombrero offering me salsa as soon as I get in the door, or I'm gonna be pissed.
San Francisco, Calfornia
Overheard by: Alex
Tall girl: I find fault with your explanation of how penguins get the machete upgrade.
Hamden, Connecticut
Overheard by: Soy Bomb
Man to wife: There were monkeys all over the pile of stuff in the guest room!
Street Fair
San Francisco, California
Midwestern guy to friend: So, I'm out shootin' in my yard and I saw this pipe stickin' out the ground! So I shoot it. Now, the minute I shoot I know I shouldn't have done that. So the damn pipe explodes!
Flight over Utah
Dad: Okay kids, here's a penny for each of you! Throw it in the fountain and make a wish! Mark*, what did you wish for?
Mark*: A cupcake!
Dad: Okay! Joe*, what did you wish for?
Joe*: A garbage can!
Zoo
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Clueless dude on tiny bike: So… What are you?
Cute racially ambiguous girl: What am I? Like what race am I?
Dude: Uh, yeah.
Girl: What kind of question is that?! Is that how you talk to girls? I'm an alien, okay? I'm from Mars!
Boston, Massachusetts
Grungy teenager to group of grungy friends: And then I ate half of a cardboard box!
Olympia, Washington
Overheard by: Claire
Girl to friends: He looked like a Mexican vampire, and it did not work for me.
Clarksville, Maryland
Overheard by: I can see why
Guy: I'm not exactly awake yet. Hence the espresso. (holds up cup)
Girl: Oh, you should pour it all over yourself!
Guy: I think that would be contrary to waking up.
Girl: No, no. You'd absorb the caffeine into your skin, and you'd become Awake Man! And your arch-nemesis would be the Sandman, and… and… stuff.
Saint Peter's College
New Jersey
Little girl, trying to find her mom: Mommy! Mom! Mom!
(she finds her)
Little girl: Hey, mom!
Mom, totally deadpan: I'm not your mom, you should go find your real mom.
Little girl: Mom…?
Mom: I am not your mom. It's time you go find your real mom.
Little girl: But… Mom…
Mom: Fine, what?!
Bellingham, Washington
Overheard by: Rachel
