Lady, looking bewildered at companion: Well, where would you be if you were a sex book?
Bookstore
Birmingham, Alabama
Overheard by: Knows exactly where he would be
Woman to another: And I said to him, “well, if I had oily hands, I wouldn't come into your office and wipe them on your underpants!”
Portsmouth
England
Woman: If Jesus isn't coming back this week, I just know it's going to be this month.
Edwardsville, Illinois
Woman, excitedly: I hope he thinks I'm a freak!
Michigan
Overheard by: Meister E
Woman on PA system: Attention. Please disregard the call for wheelchair assistance at gate A-5. Repeat: there is no wheelchair needed at gate A-5. It's a miracle!
Airport
Rochester, New York
Overheard by: Patty Astrolabe
Woman on cell: Take him home in a straitjacket, or take him to the psych ward in a straitjacket…either way, he's not going to be happy.
Saratoga, California
Overheard by: Coffee shoppe caffeine junky
Tall woman on cell: It's not like I wanted to do it either, but sometimes you just have to grab her, spread her legs, and shove the tampon in there. I mean it's part of the job after all.
Dayton, Ohio
Overheard by: I hope she gets hazard pay!
Lady #1: My husband and I are going to Vegas tomorrow for four days. Our only trip without the kids. I am ticked because today I got my period.
Lady #2: Oh, what a pain in the ass.
Lady #1: Ahhhh?!
Hamburg, Michigan
Mother to small child: So Paul just has to prove he's a woman now. So that should be fine.
Restaurant
London
England
Overheard by: sneaking a peek
Young woman #1: How much time do I waste studying that I could be working out?
Young woman #2: I'd rather be skinny than smart.
Logan Airport
Boston, Massachusetts
