Teacher: So, for the final sentence we should get some sort of metaphor for tax cuts helping the US recession.
Student #1: Hmm… Hey, you know like, the commercial where they put gum in the hole in the dam to stop the leak?.
Student #2: Or the finger!
Teacher: Oh, you mean in the dyke!
Student #1: Yeah, so… Tax cuts would be the finger in the hole of America’s dyke?
Teacher: Maybe we shouldn’t use a metaphor.
English Essentials Class
Waimea, Hawaii
Overheard by: boehmface
Man at bar: What do you girls do for a living?
Attractive women: We’re in sales, you?
Man: You’re in sales? I think you need a career change.
Women: I’m sorry, what do you do?
Man: I’m with the carnival.
Country Bar
Fort Worth, Texas
Girl: I can’t believe you’ve never seen The Sound of Music. You have to watch that.
Guy: Fuck that. I wouldn’t watch that movie if you watched it with me, and we were going to fuck afterward.
Mankato, Minnesota
Bearded 20-something to friends: Pants or no pants, I'm gonna party tonight!
Santa Cruz, California
Overheard by: Matt
Little girl: The show will now begin. Please sit down and turn off your vibrators!
Barnes and Noble
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Pretty sure she’s been to the theater before
Chemistry professor, demonstrating suction filtration: … And you have to stop the cock before you turn on the water, or it will just [frantic hand motion] come all over your face.
Smith College
Northampton, Massachusetts
Overheard by: amused non-major
Flight attendant: Please refrain from smoking for the rest of your life.
Flight over Denver, Colorado
Fat guy: (moans)
Woman: You alright?
Fat guy: I just feel…
Woman: Yeah?
Fat guy: I feel fat this morning.
Woman: Well, you shoulda eaten something. You should eat more!
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/358900004/youre-not-helping-2.html
Overheard by: orly.
Man in line: They should build a tunnel over the Elizabeth River.
Portsmouth, Virginia
Overheard by: the fly on the wall
