Chemistry professor, demonstrating suction filtration: … And you have to stop the cock before you turn on the water, or it will just [frantic hand motion] come all over your face.
Smith College
Northampton, Massachusetts
Overheard by: amused non-major
Flight attendant: Please refrain from smoking for the rest of your life.
Flight over Denver, Colorado
Fat guy: (moans)
Woman: You alright?
Fat guy: I just feel…
Woman: Yeah?
Fat guy: I feel fat this morning.
Woman: Well, you shoulda eaten something. You should eat more!
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/358900004/youre-not-helping-2.html
Overheard by: orly.
Man in line: They should build a tunnel over the Elizabeth River.
Portsmouth, Virginia
Overheard by: the fly on the wall
Flight attendant: Fasten your seatbelt low and tight around your waist, like Britney Spears' pants.
Airplane
St. Louis, Missouri
Professor: If you want to get drunk and run around your house naked in your free time that’s your own business, but you’re not going to do that at work when you’re in public.
Metropolitan State College of Denver
Denver, Colorado
Freshman: Are Arby’s sandwiches any good?
Junior: Arby’s sandwiches are Jesus Christ!
Gilbert High School
Gilbert, Arizona
Woman to husband: Honey, do you think this would be a good fall coat for me?
Five-year-old daughter: It looks like an old-fashioned coat.
Woman: I knew you were gonna say that!
Five-year-old: A young lady like you shouldn't wear such an old-fashioned coat!
Target
Allen Park, Michigan
