Young girl in stall with mother: Mommy, what's that?
Mother to young girl: It's called pubic hair, sweetie…all women have it. When you get older, someday you will get some.
Young girl, mortified: Nooooooooooo!
Mall Restroom
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Monica
Girl to boy: How old are you?
Boy: Two old!
Seattle, Washington
Cholo #1, tapping roughly on glass: Heeeey monkey! Oh! Monkey!
Treehugger in sandals with socks, hysterically: Stop it, stop it! Oh my god!
(cholo #2 and #3 snicker and speak Spanish to each other)
Cholo #1: Crazy gringa…needa get laid.
Treehugger: Well, at least I didn't have ten kids by the time I was twenty! Like your mother!
National Zoo
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Meaggoo
Professor: One day you’ll wake up an old weathered hag, unless you’re Cher–she’ll just turn to dust one day when the sun hits her.
McDaniel College
Maryland
20-something girl to another: You remind me a lot of my old boss. But she was older than you and she got hit by a dump truck.
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Karen
30-something girl: Hi, James!
20-something guy: Where do I know you from?
30-something girl: Remember we met on that bench?
20-something guy: Oh, yeah! You're that really cool old person!
University of Washington, Seattle
Middle-aged woman shopping with husband: If we weren't so old, I would say “let's go into the parking lot and make a baby.”
Target
Hackensack, New Jersey
Effeminate boy #1: And he said “my penis is so big I can't control it.”
Effeminate boy #2: Oh, god. Really?
Effeminate boy #1: Yes, his mother uses really scientific terminology.
Effeminate boy #2: Oh. Oh, I see.
Effeminate boy #1: Mhmm. Well, he's only four, too. He's already peed on himself because as he says “it's not long enough go down.” I just call it a pee-pee. That's where the word “pee” comes from. Mmhmm.
Effeminate boy #2: Really! Huh!
Friendship Heights
Washington, DC
Overheard by: aimc
Health teacher to class: When you become more adult-like, you start to be more like an adult.
Roanoke, Virginia
[Three intoxicated college girls are walking along the street. One trips, falls, and all three laugh hysterically. An unmarked police van passes by]Cop, yelling out of the window: Looks like three underage drinking tickets right there!
Girl #1: We’re all 21!
Cop: Well, it looks like you’re 4!
Girl #2: Looks like you’re 37 and looking for a boyfriend!
Madison, Wisconsin
