Wikipedia Always Leaves Out the Important Information

Guy: I just want to know how big his nipples are!

Revolution Cafe
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: crafty biotech

Posted on August 8, 2015
California, Default, Guys, Nipples, Questions, Restaurants, Weirdness, Wishes

Instead of Prison, Convicts Should Be Sentenced to Host Slumber Parties

Group of little girls to window poster: Hannah Montana! Hannah Montana! Hannah Montana!
Exasperated father: Don’t kiss that!

Mall
San Diego, California

Posted on August 6, 2015
California, Dads, Default, Family, Girls, Kids, Malls, Offers and requests, Should have used a condom, Siblings, TV shows

Oh, Hell, Let’s Just Blow Each Other and Be Done with It

Man #1: She’s lost a lot of weight recently.
Man #2: I guess. Didn’t help, though.
Man #1: With what?
Man #2: The pure funk which likely seeps from her gaping maw of an over-used pussy. I wouldn’t fuck that with your dick, dude.
Man #1: Thanks for having my back. Do me another favor — fuck your wife with my dick, okay?
Man #2: Why not? Someone’s dick should be allowed to.

9th and J Streets
Sacramento, California

Posted on August 5, 2015
California, Creepsters, Sex

Even Better Than Peeing on the Parsley

Very serious little boy: I just love the grocery store bathroom.
Confused mom: Why? What’s so great about it?
Little boy, wistfully: It’s just so peaceful…

Kaiser
Saratoga, California

Overheard by: shyinvisiblegirl

Posted on August 5, 2015
California, Happiness, Kids, Moms

Oh Yeah, You’d Like Me to Pour You on My Meat

Guy to friend: My hot sauce packet is talking dirty to me.

Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: Josh

Posted on August 2, 2015
California, Default, Etiquette, Fears, Food, Friends, Guys, Sexuality, Weirdness

She Has Everything I've Always Wanted, and a Little Something More

Suit on cell: Oh, did I tell you I met someone? (pause) Her name is Brian.

Civic Center Farmer's Market
San Francisco, California

Posted on August 1, 2015
California, Default, Names, On the phone, Queers, Questions, Sexuality, Stores, Suits

…Before You Bleed Them Dry

Clueless girl: My computer has a virus.
Computer geek: You need an external hard drive to transfer the files you want to keep.
Clueless girl: Can't I just transfer it to another computer?
Computer geek: No, the virus will spread.
Clueless girl: (blank stare)
Computer geek: Its like fucking someone with AIDS.

Los Angeles, California

Posted on July 30, 2015
Advice, California, Compare and contrast, Default, Dorks, Geeks & Nerds, Girls, STDs, Technology

If Our Disastrous Trip to Thailand Was Any Indication

Frizzy-haired college girl: Are you seriously asking me to to sell myself so you can hitchhike to Sicily?
Friend #1: There are so many things wrong with that sentence.
Friend #2: Yeah. Like first of all, no one in Italy would want to pay for you.

UC Davis
Davis, California

Overheard by: Passing Student

Posted on July 28, 2015
California, Colleges & Universities, Default, Friends, Geography, Girls, Money, Offers and requests, Questions, Sorority types

She'd Kill to Have Christopher Walken's Hair

Girl #1: You mean like Christopher Walken?
Girl #2: I think he's going to be on Glee next week, I mean it did look like him.
Girl #1: Oh, don't get my hopes up!
Girl #2: Oh, never mind, it's going to be Julie Andrews.

Escondido, California

Overheard by: Brit-ta-nee

Posted on July 28, 2015
About celebrities, California, Girls, Movies

We’re Hoping She Stays Out of the Minibar

Blonde on cell: We got a nice hotel room for our cat.

Montgomery and California
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: Ladle

Posted on July 25, 2015
Animals, California, Default, Holidays, Idiots, On the phone, Stupidity, Weirdness, Women