Man to girl he’s trying to hit on: [Flashes American Express card] What does this mean to you?
Girl: … It means you’re a douche.
Edendale Grill
Los Angeles, California
Man to girl he’s trying to hit on: [Flashes American Express card] What does this mean to you?
Girl: … It means you’re a douche.
Edendale Grill
Los Angeles, California
Father: Sweetie, your affection for the dog is causing you to hallucinate.
Empress Pavillion
Chinatown, California
Overheard by: Yapplebee
Little boy to grandmother: My mommy's held a cow brain.
Borders Bookstore
Alameda, California
Overheard by: Lith
Girl #1: Well, you know she gave that guy a blow job when three other people were in the room. Someone was bound to find out.
Girl #2: I’ve never even done it in front of people.
Girl #1: Me either, I’m not that slutty.
Younger girl with them: Oh, guess just me then?
Girl #1: You gave someone a blowjob with people watching?!
Younger girl: Uh, yeah. Back when I was 15 and drunk.
Girl #1: I’m your aunt: should you really have told me that, McSlutty?
Park
San Diego, California
Greaser guy holding kitten: Who's a kitty? You's a kitty! Who's a kitty? You's a kitty! Who's a kitty? You's a kitty!
Punk girl: I think he knows he's a kitty.
Bakersfield, California
Girl to friend: When I think beautiful, I think green hair.
Burbank, California
Overheard by: Amused shopper
Mother to daughter, regarding t-shirts: We need to get you a big one ’cause your boobs are growing way too fast.
Flat-chested daughter: Yeah, I know.
Hollywood Tower of Terror Shop
Disneyland, California
Dude: I’m not saying I don’t like this song, it’s just that it always strikes me as the kind of song that people with Down Syndrome would dance to.
Sacramento, California
Overheard by: Megan Mama
Ghetto chick #1: If I was Kobe’s wife, I woulda left that nigga’s ass.
Ghetto chick #2: Kobe… He fine — I would hit that shit.
Ghetto chick #3: Oooh, girl, do you daddy know you nasty?!
In-N-Out Burger
Carson, California
Overheard by: Kristina & Friends
20-something girl #1, laughing: Your son is totally gay!
20-something girl #2: He so is! He reminds me of Jack from Dawson's Creek. He's athletic and can play it pretty hetero, but deep down he's balls-deep in rainbow town. Very impressive for a five-year-old.
Roseville, California
Overheard by: MeganMama
