If Our Disastrous Trip to Thailand Was Any Indication

Frizzy-haired college girl: Are you seriously asking me to to sell myself so you can hitchhike to Sicily?
Friend #1: There are so many things wrong with that sentence.
Friend #2: Yeah. Like first of all, no one in Italy would want to pay for you.

UC Davis
Davis, California

Overheard by: Passing Student

Posted on July 28, 2015
California, Colleges & Universities, Default, Friends, Geography, Girls, Money, Offers and requests, Questions, Sorority types

She'd Kill to Have Christopher Walken's Hair

Girl #1: You mean like Christopher Walken?
Girl #2: I think he's going to be on Glee next week, I mean it did look like him.
Girl #1: Oh, don't get my hopes up!
Girl #2: Oh, never mind, it's going to be Julie Andrews.

Escondido, California

Overheard by: Brit-ta-nee

Posted on July 28, 2015
About celebrities, California, Girls, Movies

We’re Hoping She Stays Out of the Minibar

Blonde on cell: We got a nice hotel room for our cat.

Montgomery and California
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: Ladle

Posted on July 25, 2015
Animals, California, Default, Holidays, Idiots, On the phone, Stupidity, Weirdness, Women

And This Time Don’t Roll on Me Just Because They Offer You Cookies and Juice

Little boy: You used to have a pocket knife, mommy!
Mother, laughing nervously: No, I didn’t!
Little boy: Yes you did! You used to!
Nervous mother: No, I never did! I never had a pocket knife! Please don’t tell the police that!

YMCA
Hollywood, California

Overheard by: Muffin

Posted on July 25, 2015
California, Crimes, Default, Fears, Guys, Kids, Moms, Offers and requests, Violence, Weirdness, YMCA

Let Us Give Thanks for Safe and Legal Birth Control

Brother: Where's the baby?
Sister: Over there. (gestures to crazy 4-5 year old child in jungle gym)
Brother: I'm sorry, but every time my nephew goes insane I want to clothesline him.
Sister: I don't think you're quite ready for fatherhood yet.

Playground
Poway, California

Overheard by: Jail, Anyone?

Posted on July 24, 2015
California, Default, Family, Family ties, Feelings, Girls, Guys, Questions

Tingly!

Young woman #1: I wonder if Vicks expires.
Young woman #2: Yeah, it expires. I use it as butt lube.

Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: Ashrey

Posted on July 24, 2015
Ass, Backdoor, California, Default, Drugs, Weirdness, Women

And That I’m Getting a Free Dinner

Man to girl he’s trying to hit on: [Flashes American Express card] What does this mean to you?
Girl: … It means you’re a douche.

Edendale Grill
Los Angeles, California

Posted on July 24, 2015
California, Chicks, Insults, Jerks

Scooby and the Gang Stage an Intervention for Velma

Father: Sweetie, your affection for the dog is causing you to hallucinate.

Empress Pavillion
Chinatown, California

Overheard by: Yapplebee

Posted on July 24, 2015
Animals, California, Dads, Default, Mental illnesses, Restaurants

Tonight on Graze Anatomy

Little boy to grandmother: My mommy's held a cow brain.

Borders Bookstore
Alameda, California

Overheard by: Lith

Posted on July 23, 2015
Animals, Body parts, California, Family, Family ties, Kids, Parenting, Stores

From Don’t Tell Mom the Babysitter’s Giving Head

Girl #1: Well, you know she gave that guy a blow job when three other people were in the room. Someone was bound to find out.
Girl #2: I’ve never even done it in front of people.
Girl #1: Me either, I’m not that slutty.
Younger girl with them: Oh, guess just me then?
Girl #1: You gave someone a blowjob with people watching?!
Younger girl: Uh, yeah. Back when I was 15 and drunk.
Girl #1: I’m your aunt: should you really have told me that, McSlutty?

Park
San Diego, California

Posted on July 22, 2015
Age and ageing, BJs, California, Default, Drinking & drunks, Family, Family ties, Girls, Insults, Memory lane, Names, Weirdness