Ethics professor: Killing drug dealers is okay, but killing priests is wrong. Wait, I may have that backwards…
Marist College
Poughkeepsie, New York
Ethics professor: Killing drug dealers is okay, but killing priests is wrong. Wait, I may have that backwards…
Marist College
Poughkeepsie, New York
Girl to friends trying to eat lunch: And then all of a sudden his penis started groundhoging!
Friends: (blank stare)
Franklin Dining Hall, UMass
Amherst, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Cate
Professor, to newbie class: So…let's start with everyone telling me a secret about themselves so I can try and remember your names. You (pointing to student) start.
Student, tentatively: Ummm…I eat cold spaghetti in the morning?
Professor: Ewww! Fantastic.
University of Zurich
Switzerland
Overheard by: Stephanie
Band geek, eating lunch, to friends: I've come to the realization that if I were a woman, I'd have amazing breasts.
Rutgers University
Camden, New Jersey
Overheard by: One time at band camp…
Scholar: Handicapped people would be hot if they could, like, use their legs and stuff.
Bryn Mawr College
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Male lecturer to friend: Well: in my defense, it wasn't my dildo.
Lancaster University
England
80-something religious studies professor: Do you all know what circumcision is? (class stares at him) Okay. Well, if you don't, don't ask here. Wait for an appropriate time and ask a friend outside of class.
Canisius College
Buffalo, New York
Professor: Let's move on…let's talk about Puerto Ricans in New York. And crack. And race. Well, let's start with Obama.
Mount Holyoke College
South Hadley, Massachusetts
Overheard by: lovecollege
Frat guy #1: So my mom bought me two new polos. One is blue with pink, and the other is orange and green. But I already have one that's orange and green.
Frat guy #2: Dude, I'll take it.
Frat guy #1: Nah, I think I'm gonna trade it to Duke for some pot.
Virginia Tech
Professor: One day you’ll wake up an old weathered hag, unless you’re Cher–she’ll just turn to dust one day when the sun hits her.
McDaniel College
Maryland
