Colleges & Universities

College tour guide, passing crying student: College is hard. You will cry.

Willamette University
Salem, Oregon

Anatomy professor: There's a little bit of failure in everyone.

Western Illinois University

Overheard by: Pixie

Girl on cell: You mean you need at least thirty minutes? It's only supposed to last ten minutes, that's why it's called a quickie!

UC Irvine
Irvine, California

Professor: No, pondering eternal truths is not a good excuse for missing my class…I'd need a signed note from god.

Lycoming College
Williamsport, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: JQ

Professor: I thought it was an “Oh my god, ponies!” moment.

Christopher Newport University
Newport News, Virginia

Overheard by: It had to be…

Girl to friend: You know a little too much. Just like your abortion thing the other day!
Friend: What?

University of Washington
Seattle, Washington

Freshman guy: It's been in my mouth for almost a minute now, and I'm still not sure what it is.
Freshman girl: Scary thought, isn't it?

Dining Hall, Arcadia University
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Sorority chick #1: Hey, you know there’s Bible study in my room at eight tonight?
Sorority chick #2: Hmmm, eight? Okay, I guess I can come.
Sorority chick #1: And then we can go get wasted!

Ladies’ locker room, University of Tennessee
Knoxville, Tennessee

Overheard by: New Yorker

Guy with clipboard: Do you have a minute for human rights?
Guy walking by: No. (pause) Wait, did you say humans rights?
Guy with clipboard: Yes.
Guy walking by: Oh, I thought you were one of those crazy environmentalist people.
Guy with clipboard: No, we're crazy gay rights people.

University of Colorado, Boulder

Overheard by: Violentvixen

Bimbette, as Dalai Lama approaches podium: He’s supposed to be the reincarnation of, like, God or whatever.

Smith College
Northampton, Massachusetts

Overheard by: velvin