Blonde: … And then there was, like, this penis all up in my face, and I was like, ‘But I thought you were a girl…’
Montclair State University
New Jersey
Overheard by: Anna
Blonde: … And then there was, like, this penis all up in my face, and I was like, ‘But I thought you were a girl…’
Montclair State University
New Jersey
Overheard by: Anna
Dude: You fail to see that the rhinoceros is not pleased that you've clogged the bathtub drain with jam and celery. She's quite angry with you. I mean, if you just shit out a canary, it's not going to want to play tonsil hockey.
Friend: How hard would it be to get you involuntarily committed to a mental institution?
Marist College
Poughkeepsie, New York
Overheard by: Russ
Girl, to friends: So then she e-mailed us all, and she was like, “We just ate an African baby!”
Memorial University
St. John's
Newfoundland, Canadia
Overheard by: Mel
Sorority girl to another: All I'm saying is that it would be a lot better at home if you used less tongue.
CU
Boulder, Colorado
Microbiology lecturer: If you were a bacteria, this would be a highly pornographic image.
Melbourne University
Australia
Dude to chick: It's the first day of class–let's get wasted! (both hi five)
Maryland Institute College of Art
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: widget
Chick: He knows how to put it in, he just hasn’t ever done it before.
Laurentian University
Sudbury, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Beebo
Bimbette #1: Chris* has the biggest dick ever. I mean, how does someone’s dick get to be that big?!
Bimbette #2: Yeah, I wonder how that’s determined. Like, what side of the family?
Bimbette #1: Yeah, I don’t think I want to have boys and have to deal with stuff like that… [Trails off as guy in front of them turns his head and then keeps walking. Both girls stop dead in their tracks.]Bimbette #2: Oh my god, that’s him.
University of Texas
Austin, Texas
Girl: Dang, it's raining!
Boy: Do you have an umbrella?
Girl: Yeah. I hate umbrellas.
Boy, surprisingly vehemently: Suck it up!
Syracuse University
Syracuse, New York
Guy #1: She totally wanted to hook up with me, and kept dropping hints to get her roommate to leave.
Guy #2: Like what kind of hints?
Guy #1: Like “Yeah, I’m really tired, I just want to go to sleep.” But her roommate would not leave the room.
Dorm Room
UCSB, California
