I Wonder If the Hospital Would Give Me a Discount If I Produced in Bulk

Black woman, to friend: I love Costco. It makes me like, want to have five kids.

Costco
King of Prussia, Pennsylvania

Posted on May 8, 2019
Default, Feelings, Friends, Gender issues, Offspring, Pennsylvania, Shopping, Stores, Wishes, Women

Which Is Also What I Wrote for My Essay About the Statue Of Liberty

High school girl, ranting to friend about biology class: It's *so* annoying…I hate evolution! He goes all into the *designing* of a cell and I'm like “God created it and that's all we need to know.” We don't have to go all hi-def into it!

Lancaster Mennonite HIgh School
Lancaster, Pennsylvania

Posted on May 7, 2019
Default, Girls, God, Gripes, Pennsylvania, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Science, Students

They Were All Cured by Evangelicals

Bimbette, staring at Gay-Straight Alliance meeting sign: Oh my god, the gay thing was *so* five years ago.

Troy High School
Fullerton, California

Posted on May 5, 2019
Bimbettes, California, Default, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Sexuality, Stupidity, Time Management, Words

Or Is That Necrophilia?

Social problems teacher: So what are some social problems that affect us today?
Female student: Murder?
Teacher: Yeah, that’s good. [writes it on the white board.] Any others?
Male student: Narcissism?
Teacher: I don’t quite understand…
Male student: Well if people are falling asleep all the time and they don’t know it…

Grand Rapids Community College
Grand Rapids, Michigan

Posted on May 3, 2019
Crimes, Default, Education, Girls, Guys, Michigan, Murder, Students, Stupidity, Teachers, Words

Translation: I Hate Shopping

Guy on cell, standing in vegetable aisle and staring at grocery list: Honey, I see red, greed, yellow, and orange peppers, but they don't have black ones. (pauses, then, sounding irritated) Well, why didn't you tell me they were with the spices? Wait… how do they keep them cold there? Is that even safe?!

Anderson, Indiana