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Female passerby: Unless you can see an arm dangling out of her vagina, you should never ask a woman if she's pregnant!

Oklahoma City, Oklahoma

Overheard by: Renizzle

College dude to girl: Yeah, so they tagged my penis…

UC Irvine
Irvine, California

Five-year-old boy sitting in a shopping cart: Gi-ant vul-va! Gi-ant vul-va!
Mommy: Here's a chocolate truffle.

Whole Foods
Santa Monica, California

Girl at humanities tutorial: Did we have to have works cited for our essay?
TA: Yes, you need to cite your sources.
Girl: That's so unfair! I can't be penalized just because I didn't have works cited!
TA: You need to cite your sources.
Girl: But what if I didn't have any sources?

http://community.livejournal.com/overheardatyork/53342.html

Overheard by: headdesk

Crazy lady, noticing long line: Is this the line to urinate? I can not believe this is the urination line. Unbelievable! I can't wait this long to urinate. There is no way. I have kidney problems. I need to urinate now. I don't wanna cut in line. I'll just go in the men's room. (as she enters men's room) I am a woman coming in here. I can not wait in a long line to urinate.
(a few minutes later, to women in line, while coming out) See! Your line hasn't even moved!

Hamilton Mall, New Jersey

Overheard by: last in line

Nanny to 10-year-old girl: So, who commonly uses Celsius instead of Fahrenheit?
10-year-old girl: Penguins.

Brookline, Massachusetts

Overheard by: S

Prof: Let's get down to the meat and bolts of it.

Chestnut Hill College
Philadelphia, Pennsylvaia

Female student to friend in pub: Maybe you've fallen into the “big-nose trap” as well…

University of Portsmouth
England

Overheard by: Charlotte

Decked-out tarot card reader, eyes closed, acting all mystical: I'm getting the feeling of a friend, a female presence that seems to be around you quite often. I get this feeling, this strong feeling, that she tries to help you in certain ways but her help isn't the good kind. For some reason, a phrase keeps popping in my head. This one phrase.
Drunk seated hipster girl: What is it?
Tarot card reader: The words (dramatic pause) “party too hard.”

Alcove Gallery
Atlanta, Georgia

20-something JAP to nerdy date: I love rushing. In my sorority, like, for every girl who rushes, the girls, like, have to discuss the girl's pros and cons, and like, for every con there has to be a pro, so like if you say, like, the girl is a total retard, you have to say something pro, like, she has opposable thumbs.
Nerdy date: When I was rushing they would give me a hot dog bun, but there was something in it that was not a hot dog.
20-something JAP: Oh that reminds me, like, I'll sleep at your house tonight, but like, it's just gonna be sleeping, not like, sex or anything, you know, because, like, I have to get to know a person a lot better than I, like, know you before I do something like that.
Nerdy date: Oh absolutely. I mean, when I mentioned sleeping over before, I just meant, you know, sleeping. I didn't mean anything more than that.

Sarah Silverman Concert
Atlantic City, New Jersey