Redneck: I'm not racist or anything, I mean, this guy was a pretty nice nigger. He didn't even try to steal my money.
Adrian, Michigan
Redneck: I'm not racist or anything, I mean, this guy was a pretty nice nigger. He didn't even try to steal my money.
Adrian, Michigan
(kids looking at strawberry flavored condoms)
Kid #1: Strawberries!
Kid #2: No, they're strawberry balloons.
Kid #3 (shocked): No, they're condoms!
All 3 kids: Arrghhh.
Supermarket
Melbourne
Australia
Guy: Remember “sweaty boobs”?
Girl: What?
Guy: Remember he broke up with her because she had sweaty boobs!
Porter Exchange
Somerville, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Dave
Drunk (just thrown out): I bet if had really big boobs you'd let me back in.
Cop working security for the club: No, actually we wouldn't.
Drunk: What, you don't like big boobs?
Cop: Not on dudes.
Drunk: Huh? No, I mean if I was a chick.
Cop: You'd make a really ugly chick.
Drunk: Huh?
Cop: Get the fuck out of here.
Nightclub
Scottsdale, Arizona
Woman in suede coat with shearling trim: They put greater value on a human life than on an animal's. Terrible.
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Poogins
Guy #1: What are you going to get your girlfriend for her birthday?
Guy #2: I got her this sweater she wanted. But I'm also going to get her a dildo in case she doesn't like the sweater. That way she can go fuck herself.
Roosevelt Field Mall
Long Island, New York
Loud guy on cell: So that's like, what, a 90% ratio of girls who have gotten pregnant right after I dated them? (bursts out laughing)
Girl to friend: Wow, I want him as my next boyfriend!
LSU
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Overheard by: the things you hear when you go to class early….
Drunk girl #1: You get to hook up with all the guys walking around clapping to the music.
Drunk girl #2: That's fine! I like the clap!
Beverly, Massachusetts
Overheard by: sam-a-lamb
Girlfriend: This is your out-of-town toothpaste.
Boyfriend: So?
Girlfriend: Look how fucked up it is!
Boyfriend: Don't start talking shit about my toothpaste!
Shelby, Michigan
Hungover guy: Man, I got so fucked up last night. The last thing I remember was walking into the bathroom. And then this morning I woke up to the sound of someone yelling “Who the fuck are you?” So, naturally, I responded with, “Well, who the fuck are you!?” and then I looked around and said, “Wait… yeah, I might be in the wrong place.” And the guy goes, “Wait, no, I think I might be in the wrong place.”
www.overheardinathens.com
