Family ties

(little girl is spinning and singing in grocery store line)
Dad, very calmly: Honey… Next time the gypsies come to town, they're leaving with an extra person.

Severna Park, Maryland

Asian teenage girl, about sister who just left: She's so cute. She looks like a guy.

Sporting Carnival
Australia

Overheard by: Ouch

Grandma, with camera, to grandson (on Father's Day): Jordan! Go pose over there next to dad, dad, and daddy.

Macaroni Grill
Orlando, Florida

Overheard by: SoConfused

Young teenage girl with pink furry boots, rainbow hair, and seven facial piercings: Hey, if you were god, what would you do?
Young teenage boy with shaggy hair, acne, and a little boy face: I'd kill my foster parents.
Young teenage girl, totally ignoring her friend's response: I would totally make the world flat, so we could travel just by folding it in half. Imagine how much time and money I would save everyone!

Packed Train during Rush Hour
Calgary, Alberta
Canadia

Mother to kid: Stop that right now, or I'm going to give you to a stranger!
Stranger: Good luck finding one who'll take her.

The Baltimore Aquarium
Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard by: Cols

Teen daughter: Mom, what does an orgasm feel like?
Mom, looking at older daughter: Ask your sister, she'd probably know better than I would.

Portland, Oregon

Supportive male friend: It's okay! Just remember, you fucked her sister with a baseball bat.
Cute girl: I know, I know…

Ann Arbor, Michigan

Barmaid: I was having sex with a girl, and in the heat of the moment she called me Frank. Which is horrifying, as that's her dad's name.

Pub
Surrey
England

Teenage boy, pointing at his dad: Kill him!
Mom: I can't do that! He just got his hair cut!

Dagenham
Essex
England

Overheard by: Anthony Mercer

Teenage girl #1 in high school bathroom: I'm excited that I'm pregnant, it just sucks that I'll have to give up drinking.
Teenage girl #2: Why? I didn't!

Indianapolis, Indiana

Overheard by: not surprised