And I'm the Dairy Queen.

Seven-year-old girl #1: Hey! There goes Angus!
Seven-year-old girl #2: Oooh, you are falling in love with him.
Seven-year-old girl #1: I am so not falling in love with him. He's allergic to dairy!

Australia

Overheard by: hahamama

Posted on June 4, 2020
Australia, Feelings, Food, Kids, Maladies

I'm Glad You Recognize It As an Inevitability

Wife: Would you still love me if I peed my pants?
Husband: Yep.
Wife: Would you still love me if I shit my pants?
Husband: We'll cross that bridge when we get there.

Nashville, Tennessee

Posted on May 19, 2020
Feelings, Hubbies, Pee, Poop, Questions, Relationships, Tennessee

A+

Male art student in response to female art student’s sculpture: It’s really kind of mortifyingly vaginal.

Allegheny College
Meadville Pennsylvania

Posted on May 3, 2020
Class, Compare and contrast, Etiquette, Euphemisms, Feelings, Guys, Hipsters, Pennsylvania, Students, Vagina, Words

Dads Often Regret Not Eating Their Young

Little boy looking at gorillas: You can tell that one's the dad, because he looks angry.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/318435466/that-method-is-84-accurate.html

Overheard by: rsp

Posted on April 30, 2020
Default, Family ties, Feelings, Guys, Kids, Overheard in Minneapolis

And Molded It Into the Shape Of a Little Man!

Girl #1: You know it really makes me sad that after all this time you still don't appreciate my art.
Girl #2: That isn't art, you found it in your underwear!

Amarillo, Texas

Posted on April 19, 2020
Clothes, Compare and contrast, Default, Feelings, Girls, Texas

Um, of State Security?

Art student: He told me he really relates to my organs.

University of Washington
Seattle, Washington

Posted on April 16, 2020
Body parts, Colleges & Universities, Feelings, Relationships, Students, Washington, Weirdness

This Happens a Lot at Hippie Sex Retreats

Drunk guy: Oh my god! Everyone in this room is so ugly!

Irish Pub
Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Jackie

Posted on April 15, 2020
Bars & Clubs, Default, Drunks, Feelings, Guys, Pennsylvania, Weirdness

So Maybe She Needed Out-of-This-World Sex

Guy on cell: Yeah, I hooked up with her. [pause] I fucked her. She was tight. [pause] She hasn’t called me back. I don’t get why it’s so hard to take five seconds out of your day to see how I’m doing. [pause] She’s, like, Asian. Half Asian and half alien.

Barnes & Noble
Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: Hobo

Posted on April 7, 2020
California, Compare and contrast, Compliments, Feelings, Geography, Gripes, Guys, Insults, On the phone, Sex, Stores, Words

Why, Are Crocs Back?

Patron #1: How are you tonight?
Patron #2: Well, I'm currently disappointed in humanity.

Bar
Columbus, Indiana

Overheard by: Projection1234

Posted on April 3, 2020
Bars & Clubs, Bosses, Compare and contrast, Default, Feelings, Guys, Indiana, Questions

Hardly Worse Than Getting Dick-Poked Before Birth

[husband and wife are pushing stroller through the mall. Suddenly another man rushes up and picks the husband up, twirling him around while everyone cracks up]Man, looking over at child: Wow, that would be a really awkward first memory!

Spotsylvania Towne Centre
Fredericksburg, Virginia

Overheard by: That Girl In The Kiosk

Posted on March 31, 2020
Family ties, Feelings, Stores, Virginia, Weirdness

Feelings

Um, of State Security?