So Maybe She Needed Out-of-This-World Sex

Guy on cell: Yeah, I hooked up with her. [pause] I fucked her. She was tight. [pause] She hasn’t called me back. I don’t get why it’s so hard to take five seconds out of your day to see how I’m doing. [pause] She’s, like, Asian. Half Asian and half alien.

Barnes & Noble
Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: Hobo

Posted on April 7, 2020
California, Compare and contrast, Compliments, Feelings, Geography, Gripes, Guys, Insults, On the phone, Sex, Stores, Words

Why, Are Crocs Back?

Patron #1: How are you tonight?
Patron #2: Well, I'm currently disappointed in humanity.

Bar
Columbus, Indiana

Overheard by: Projection1234

Posted on April 3, 2020
Bars & Clubs, Bosses, Compare and contrast, Default, Feelings, Guys, Indiana, Questions

Hardly Worse Than Getting Dick-Poked Before Birth

[husband and wife are pushing stroller through the mall. Suddenly another man rushes up and picks the husband up, twirling him around while everyone cracks up]Man, looking over at child: Wow, that would be a really awkward first memory!

Spotsylvania Towne Centre
Fredericksburg, Virginia

Overheard by: That Girl In The Kiosk

Posted on March 31, 2020
Family ties, Feelings, Stores, Virginia, Weirdness

Rip Taylor Was Born That Way

Guy about his brother: His only emotion is glitter.
Friend: That's true of all eight-year-olds.
Guy: No, dude, you don't get it. One. Emotion.

Fairfield, Connecticut

Overheard by: Harry

Posted on March 16, 2020
Character, Connecticut, Family ties, Feelings, Friends

Dude, Just Make an Audio-Visual Geek Your Friend

Music history professor, putting a CD in the player: And now we pray to the god of CDs. It’s not good to be a teacher with CDs. They are very stupid things. [Pause.] …It’s not good to be a teacher, perhaps that’s what it is.

Peabody Conservatory
Baltimore, Maryland

Posted on March 14, 2020
Class, Default, Education, Feelings, God, Gripes, Jobs & Careers, Maryland, Music, Teachers, Technology

I Can Only Answer Questions Like “Tubey or Not Tubey?”

Young girl: So what do you think I should do?
Girlfriend: I spent most of last night eating cheese out of a tube. I really don't think I'm the best person to ask for advice about your love life.

London
England

Overheard by: LondonCoffee

Posted on March 10, 2020
Compare and contrast, England, Feelings, Food, Girls, Questions

Are There No Gay Cougars?

Fratty-looking queer #1: I need some lip balm. My lips feel all dried up, like…old fruit.
Fratty looking queer #2: You are an old fruit. (pause) No, really, you're 25, which means you're almost 30, which means you're almost dead.

Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: gymbo