Yup! How’s Your Vaginal Discharge?

Girl to guy friend: So, is your ball sack sweaty like yesterday?

Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: K.

Posted on October 5, 2019
Friends, Questions, Washington

…of Stuff That Never Happened

Bro #1: Dude, now that you're here…
Bro #2: We can start making some fucking memories!

Michigan State University

Posted on October 5, 2019
Colleges & Universities, Default, Friends, Guys, Memory lane, Michigan, Weirdness, Words

Best. Quote Location. Ever.

Male roommate to another: Don't jump on me. I have a boner.

Saint Peter's College
New Jersey

Posted on September 26, 2019
Colleges & Universities, Erections, Friends, New Jersey, Sex

Um, Isn't That a Burger King Crown?

Drunk aboriginal man to drunk friends: I just got out of jail. My mum's been crying for me, my dog's been praying for me, my uncle Bob's been praying for me, all to get me back to Narrogin. I tell you, I'm the king of that town.

Fremantle
Australia

Posted on September 15, 2019
Animals, Australia, Crimes, Drunks, Family ties, Feelings, Friends, Parenting

I Have It on My Resume, Under “Hobbies”

Woman: I orgasmed here once.
Friend, cheerfully: Oh, I've done that several times!

James Brown Arena
Augusta, Georgia

Overheard by: Annissa

Posted on August 15, 2019
Compare and contrast, Cum, Default, Friends, Georgia, Memory lane, Women

Yet You Won't Swallow Your Husband's Semen?

Middle-aged woman with dog: Oh, she peed on my foot. That's your pee. That's your love juice. Did you put your love juice on me? You gave me your love juice.
Woman's friend: It's on your shirt now.
Middle-aged woman: Oh, she pissed on my shirt? It's okay, it's just love juice. Come here, stinks. Come here, stinky. It's just pee. Come, gimme kisses, stink-stink.
Woman's friend: Here, maybe you should let me hold her.
Middle-aged woman, hissing: Get away from my stinky! She gave me her love juice, not you.

Starbucks
San Diego, California

Overheard by: Pips

Posted on August 9, 2019
Animals, Body parts, California, Feelings, Friends, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, Pee, Questions, Stupidity, Women

And by “Celebrating Mass” I Mean Exactly What You Think I Mean

18-year-old guy to friend: If I liked kids, I would be celebrating mass at a Catholic church.

Mexico City
Mexico

Overheard by: Kafnut

Posted on July 26, 2019
Central America, Christianity, Friends, Kids, Teens

And Uncle Walter Won’t Stop Poking Me

Distraught sorority girl: My mom won’t accept my friend request on Facebook!
Sisters, collectively: Awwwwww.

Social Psychology Class
Florida

Overheard by: Dr. Ian Maxwell von Indypants

Posted on July 22, 2019
Class, Family ties, Feelings, Florida, Friends, Girls, Internet, Offers and requests, Sorority types

But I Believe That’s Your Nipple

Girl, looking down her shirt: I can’t tell if that’s pork or a hickey.
Friend: You’re so awesome!

Bellingham, Washington

Overheard by: Muffler

Posted on July 10, 2019
Body parts, Compliments, Default, Friends, Girls, Washington, Words

Your Editors Fear This Conversation May Reduce Ms. Bilson to Tears

College girl #1: So did I tell you I’m going on a celibacy kick this semester? To cleanse myself.
College girl #2: Oh, really?
College girl #1, picking up GQ magazine with Rachel Bilson on the cover: Ugh, I’ve lost all respect for her. She’s such a slut.

Melbourne
Australia

Overheard by: Lindsay

Posted on July 10, 2019
About celebrities, Australia, Default, Friends, Health & Hygiene, Sexuality, Sorority types

Friends