Friends

Slightly obese lady on cell: Of course I'm at the gym, honey! I promised to go to the gym today, so I'm at the gym! (hangs up, talks to friend) What an idiot. I want some ice cream.

Ice Cream Shop
Missouri

Overheard by: jeeves

Grungy teenager to group of grungy friends: And then I ate half of a cardboard box!

Olympia, Washington

Overheard by: Claire

Indian girl to friend: When I have a baby, I'm going to name it after my pet rock.

King of Prussia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Amanda

Girl to friends: He looked like a Mexican vampire, and it did not work for me.

Clarksville, Maryland

Overheard by: I can see why

Angry girl to group of male friends: You can sleep with my mother, you can kill my father, you can burn down my house, but if you fuck with my bike…

Harvard University
Cambridge, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Veli Velo

Fun date #1: I hate it when guys want to cum on your face every time.
Fun date #2: Yeah, it gets in your eyes.
Fun date #1: And in your hair.
Fun date #3: Once in a while is okay, but not every time.

Outside Coffee Shop
Harrisonburg, Virginia

Overheard by: browny

Party goer #1: That girl is wasted.
Party goer #2: Which one?
Party goer #1: The one with the blue shirt and lip ring.
Party goer #2: That's not a lip ring, she's got a piece of meat stuck to her face.

Burlington, Vermont

Overheard by: Tim

Blind old lady to old lady friend: Oh my, you started peeing so fast.
Old lady friend: Yes, it's because I stand up.
Blind old lady: Ohhhh…
Old lady friend: Yes, not a lot of women know how to stand up, you know.
Blind old lady: Yes, that's true. My mother used to stand.

CSULA Women's Bathroom
California

Overheard by: itshahaholly

Guy among friends: This conversation is too logical for me.

Bar
Norway

Guy: Yeah, this woman over at the Sun-Times building used to make this focaccia bread for us, it was great. But she was Italian-American though, she didn't know, she didn't even know what a cannoli was!
Friend: What!?
Guy: Yeah! And, like, zeppoli, she didn't know what a zeppoli was either! And those are like the two big things, y'know?
Friend: Oh, man!
Guy: That's what happens! That's what happens when you mix up the blood!

Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: SOB: Stale Off the Boat