Best Boss I've Ever Had!

Girl: So Jack sucked my thumb today.
Friends: Really?
Girl: Yeah, he sucked my thumb, then wiped his snot on my arm, licked my leg, and told me he wanted to go to the office.

Simsbury, Connecticut

Overheard by: rehreh88

Posted on August 28, 2009
Body parts, Connecticut, Friends, Girls, Hands, Health & Hygiene, Licking, Weirdness

The “Physics Fiesta” Failed to Draw the Crowds They'd Anticipated

Alpha nerd to friends: We should kidnap more people for parties.

Ottawa
Canadia

Posted on August 25, 2009
Canadia, Dorks, Geeks & Nerds, Friends, Violence, Weirdness

Ten Bucks Says They're American

Teenage tourist girl to friend: Wanna play connect the dots with my track marks?
Friend: (laughs nervously)
Teenage tourist girl: Also, if you do that stupid thing with your water glass again, I'm gonna strangle you, and throw you in a pit and put a dead dog on top of your grave. Pass me that cheese?

Pizzeria
Rome
Italy

Posted on August 25, 2009
Animals, Death & dying, Food, Friends, Italy, Offers and requests, Restaurants, Teens, Threats, Tourists, Weirdness

I Thought the Baby Was Just a Really Small Twink

Guy: Are they gay?
Friend: Yes, they're holding hands and wearing the same clothing.
(15 seconds later)
Guy: Are they gay?
Girl: That's a family.

Hillcrest, California

Posted on August 18, 2009
California, Clothes, Clothing, Family ties, Friends, Girls, Guys, Questions, Sexuality, Stupidity

Except No One's Posing As Gay

Woman, waiting for Two Gentlemen of Verona to begin: This is one of Shakespeare's comedies, right?
Friend: Yes.
Woman: Someone will cross-dress, there will be mistaken identity, and love triangles, and everything will turn out well. All Shakespeare comedies have the same plot.
Friend: Yeah, pretty much.
Woman: They're all just episodes of Three's Company.

Boulder, Colorado

Posted on August 16, 2009
Books, Colorado, Compare and contrast, Feelings, Friends, Questions, Relationships, TV shows, Women

The Kinds Of Questions Gay People Get Asked in the Midwest

Man to friend, very seriously: Now, when you shower, do you stand up?

http://www.overheardinminneapolis.com/2007/08/i_dont_know_have_i_been_drinki.html

Overheard by: I prefer the fetal position

Posted on August 14, 2009
Douching, Friends, Overheard in Minneapolis, Questions, Stupidity

They Require a Cute, Brightly-Colored Ark.

Little old lady, yelling to friend across the store: The world is flooded with Beanie Babies!

Wauwatosa, Wisconsin

Overheard by: Embarassed at how loud my friend laughed before walking away

Posted on August 10, 2009
Friends, Old folks, Toys, Weirdness, Wisconsin, Women

A Slope Made Slippery by Extra Butter

20-something chick, gravely: I'm having severe intrusive thoughts about buying a medium popcorn.
Friend: So go buy a popcorn.
20-something chick, gravely: No, you don't get it. I'm serious.

Vancouver
Canadia

Posted on August 7, 2009
Canadia, Chicks, Food, Friends, Sensory experiences, Stupidity

Though This Is More Like a Guatemalan Mother Of Four

Girl, as friend shows apparently horrible picture of new driver's license: Oh, honey, it's okay! As my sister always says, everyone has their Puerto Rican orphan moment, one time or another…

Arabian Restaurant
São Paulo
Brazil

Overheard by: henrietta

Posted on August 3, 2009
Beauty, Brazil, Family ties, Friends, Girls, Restaurants

They Have No Idea What's Going on

Economics graduate to friend, looking around sadly at subdued crowd: We should go to the poli sci graduation later. I heard it's riotous.

UCLA
Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: Another Economics Graduate

Posted on July 29, 2009
California, Colleges & Universities, Education, Friends, Offers and requests, Science, Students, Words