And It Goes “Bloop Bloop Bloop” When You Pour It

Girl: Do you want this in your coffee?
Boy: What is it?
Girl: It's half and half.
Boy: No. I don't know what that is.

Coffee Shop
Madison, Wisconsin

Overheard by: Don

Posted on January 7, 2016
Food, Girls, Guys, Offers and requests, Wisconsin

…I Don't Care What Your Forensics Team Found.

Male lecturer to friend: Well: in my defense, it wasn't my dildo.

Lancaster University
England

Posted on January 6, 2016
Colleges & Universities, England, Guys, Masturbation, Toys

Good Thing Pluto Didn’t Hear That

Chocolate store girl: You’re a dicksucker. You know that? I mean, why bother with you? You seen my ass, you know I’m good-looking. You’re-.
Guy in Goofy costume, muffled: Whatever. There are other tits. I’ll be just fine regardless. And just so you know [lowers voice as kids approach] you’re gonna get us both fired if you keep this shit up.
Chocolate store girl, loudly: Fuck you, and fuck your fucking ass! I hope you get fired! Then you can go home and suck your asshole!
Guy in Goofy costume, losing it: Better than sucking your ex’s dick when you’re supposed to be working.
Chocolate store girl, stunned: Who told you that?!
Guy in Goofy costume: Jen, after I fucked her!
[Girl walks into the shop quickly and goes into back room looking like she’s going to cry. Goofy goes back to wandering around aimlessly, waving to little kids.]

Disney World
Orlando, Florida

Overheard by: after that, my g/f and i applied for jobs there

Posted on January 6, 2016
BJs, Couples, Coworkers, Florida, Girls, Guys, Insults, Jobs & Careers, Relationships, Sex, Tourist attractions, Weirdness

I've Been Roaming the Earth for Years Waiting for Someone to Give Me That Answer

Man to random cute chick: When's your birthday?
Cute chick: Um, September 27th.
Man: That's Ani DiFranco's birthday!

San Francisco, California

Overheard by: McNasty

Posted on January 1, 2016
About celebrities, California, Default, Girls, Guys, Questions, San Francisco

Some College Kids Handle Their Red Bull Addictions Better Than Others

Random guy: It's like I'm on the Pony Express or something…and I'm the pony!

Harvard Square
Cambridge, Massachusetts

Posted on January 1, 2016
Animals, Compare and contrast, Default, Guys, Massachusetts, Names

You Have a Friend Named “Halfbreed”?

Smoker girl: How did you get that scrape on your arm?
Inked boy: Well, TJ picked me up in the parking lot the other night after the club, like literally, picked me up and carried me over to Halfbreed, and threw me to him, but Halfbreed didn't know what was going on and so we both fell over.
Smoker girl: Ouch.
Inked boy: So apparently, all it takes to knock him down is a hundred-thirty-five pound Italian projectile surprise.
Smoker girl: Do you stay awake at night thinking of these little quips? Or do they just come to you in moments of genius?
Inked boy: No, I thought of it that night. I've just been waiting to use it.

Providence, Rhode Island