Guys

Husband: Yeah, I think that's because of the…the…
Wife: The what? Spit it out!
Husband: I know, I've been having so much trouble lately coming up with the appropriate word for what I'm trying to say.
Wife: Yeah, that's your problem. You just need to be able to think of what you need to say in advance so you can articulize it.

Toronto
Canadia

Overheard by: King Dubby

Subway conductor, as train lights go out: Ladies and gentlemen, we are currently experiencing a delay because some yahoo cut the power lines walking at track level at St. George station. (ominously) Do you know where your children are?

Toronto
Canadia

Overheard by: Jtf

Guy to friend: No, dude. You wouldn't be able to kill a robot. You would have to befriend it and then, when it's not expecting it, rip its brain out.
Friend: I tried that too.

Westwood, California

Guy: It'll make more sense once you figure it out.

Stillwater, Oklahoma

Lawyer to another: So if you're ever having surgery on a limb, make sure they mark it with a marker.

Toronto
Canadia

Little boy at ice cream parlor: Uh…can I have um, little gummy bears?
Impatient dad: Oh, that's great. You invented something the store doesn't have.

Westchester, New York

Overheard by: Griffin

Nanny to five-year-old: Look, Stephen, there's a kitty!
Stephen, petting cat: Since boys have short hair and girls have long hair, then this kitty is a boy.
Nanny: Maybe not. Boys can have long hair and girls can have short hair too.
Stephen: Then how do you tell if it's a girl or a boy?
Nanny: How 'bout some ice cream?

Washington, DC

Serious college boy to friend: I was too busy to wipe my ass this morning.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/397614032/ill-be-in-the-other-room.html

Overheard by: but you weren't too busy for the preceding action?

American guy carrying cake box: And the 911 operator just hears “you fucking whore!” and the line goes dead. Seven hours later, the cops show up.
Incredulous Asian girl: And they were all dead?
American guy: Oh yeah, all of 'em were dead. That's why you're much better off being middle class in this country, health-wise.

London
England

Overheard by: Jai

Blonde Vanderbilt freshman: It literally was, like, the best essay I've ever written. I mean, it was awesome. My mom helped me a lot.

Nashville, Tennessee