Drunk man to girlfriend: So, it's like Swiss cheese, okay? All the women I've ever slept with are like Swiss cheese.
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/325420800/aged-and-full-of-holes.html
Overheard by: wow, where do you pick up girls?
Extremely effeminate boy (taking deep breath): So…I think I am bi. (flips hair)
Blonde girl (flipping page in magazine, sounding bored): Hmmm. Are you?
Extremely effeminate boy: Yes! (flips hair) I am bi!
Blonde girl: Well, duh. You never stop checking out other guys!
Extremely effeminate boy: I'm not gay, though. My mom thought I was gay.
Blonde girl: I know you're not gay. (pause) For one thing, you are looking at my boobs right now.
Extremely effeminate boy: Oh. Right.
Blonde girl: You feel like stopping?
Extremely effeminate boy: …not particularly.
Washington Square Park
New York City, New York
Woman (sarcastically): I'm sorry, I'm such a bitch.
Man: Hmm…
Woman: You think I'm a bitch, don't you?
Man: I didn't say that.
Woman: You didn't disagree with me.
Man: You know yourself better than I do.
Woman: I can't believe you called me a bitch.
Man: I didn't call you a bitch, you called yourself a bitch.
Woman: But you didn't tell me I'm not a bitch.
Man: Because you're acting like a bitch.
Woman: See? You think I'm a bitch!
Man: I said you were acting like a bitch.
Woman: Whats the difference?
Man: Dustin Hoffman acted like a retard, but it doesn't mean he is one.
Woman: I don't know what that's supposed to mean, but you're a dick for thinking I'm a bitch.
Man: Do you mean I'm acting like a dick or I am a dick?
Woman: Fuck you! (storms out)
Man: Too easy. Caramel Macchiato please!
Starbucks
Westminster, Colorado
Hipster girl: I wasn't invited to the wedding but maybe I'll go anyway. I could be your date. Who knows, maybe you'll even score.
Guy: Shit, all I have to do is give you two vodka sodas and point you to a pool and I'll score. Easy.
Hipster girl: One time that happened. One time.
Marta Train
Atlanta, Georgia
30-something guy on cell: …and they don't even care about all my Kung fu skills!
http://eavesdropdc.blogspot.com/2008/06/its-like-proficiency-in-excel-and.html
Overheard by: Ian
Guy #1, standing in front of classroom: So he walked up to me and was like, “Dude, do you want a donut?” and of course I was like, “yeah.”
Guy #2: Well, yeah. I love donuts too.
Guy #1: So then he whips out this trash bag and it's filled to the top with donuts. So I took this one off the top and started eating it, and then I realized, dude! Where the hell did you get a trash bag full of donuts?
Guy #2: Woah. Where'd he go?!
Hanover, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Emmeline
Teen guy #1: Who comes to a concert to make out?
Teen guy #2: Uh, anyone with a significant other.
Teen guy #1: If a girl will make out with you at a concert, then she's down for anything. Like she'd totally take it up the butt.
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: not so much
Teen girl: I hate you.
Teen guy: You hate me? Nice. Real mature… (pause) Oh my god! An Elmo lunchbox!
Officeworks
Bendigo
Australia
Overheard by: ColdSpiral
Cracked out old lady: Yeah, I think it's time for me to get a new dildo.
Cracked out old guy: Oh, really? Why?
Cracked out old lady: I don't know… I'm not getting the same vibrations anymore. You should tell your wife to get one.
Cracked out old guy: Nahh, I don't think she'd enjoy it…
Cracked out old lady: Yeah, true, true.
McDonald's
Surrey, BC
Canadia
