Girl: Hey, Lamar!
Guy: Oh, hey!
Girl: How you been? You been sick?
Guy: Nah… healthy.
Girl: Oh… see ya!
Bowling Green State University
Bowling Green, Ohio
Overheard by: Alex
Girl: Hey, Lamar!
Guy: Oh, hey!
Girl: How you been? You been sick?
Guy: Nah… healthy.
Girl: Oh… see ya!
Bowling Green State University
Bowling Green, Ohio
Overheard by: Alex
Guy: I'm not going to stop and ask someone, “excuse me, where are your ray guns?”
CVS
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: ZB
Girlfriend, holding up scrapbook thing: Do you like this?
Boyfriend: Yeah, it's nice.
Girlfriend: “It's nice,” because it's nice, or “it's nice,” so we can get the fuck out of here?
JoAnn Fabrics and Crafts
Tacoma, Washington
Overheard by: baker98391
Tayal tribesman bus driver: Sir, do you want to get off at this stop?
Old man: Yes, I want off at this stop, I am going to the dentist's.
Bus driver: What's wrong?
Old man: I have to have a tooth pulled. Can you believe that? I'm 82 but I still have to have a tooth pulled.
Bus driver: If you're going to have one pulled, you may as well have a bunch taken out.
Old man: That won't do, false teeth are expensive.
Bus driver: Then have boar tusks put in.
Old man: Boar tusks?
Bus driver (very earnestly): Yes, you can have two tusks put in on the lower jaw, and when they grow, they'll look great! (uses his fingers to demonstrate how the tusks would look growing out of his mouth)
Old man (laughing): It would take a long time for them to grow.
Bus driver: Not long! You're an old boar, but I'm just a young boar, so yours would grow much faster than mine!
(old man gets off bus laughing cheerfully)
http://talovich.blogspot.com/2008_08_01_archive.html#4067720002953022860
Overheard by: Yugan Dali
Drunk guy: Oh my god! Everyone in this room is so ugly!
Irish Pub
Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Jackie
Professor: I have three children: 15, 13, and 7.
Female student: Oh, I don't think I could have three.
Male student: Yeah, with two you can do person-on-person defense, but with three you need zone.
professor: You have a point.
http://eavesdropdc.blogspot.com/2007/08/just-reminder-that-football-season.html
Overheard by: Ian
Seemingly not-crazy lady on elevator: Have you seen any aliens today?
Man: Not yet, but it’s still pretty early.
Seemingly not-crazy lady: I hope I don’t see any; I don’t have any spit.
Fox Plaza
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Uses spit for lube
Guy on cell: Yeah, I hooked up with her. [pause] I fucked her. She was tight. [pause] She hasn’t called me back. I don’t get why it’s so hard to take five seconds out of your day to see how I’m doing. [pause] She’s, like, Asian. Half Asian and half alien.
Barnes & Noble
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Hobo
Little boy, grabbing his crotch and jumping up and down: Gotcha! Gotcha! Gotcha!
Target
New Jersey
Overheard by: Jo
Patron #1: How are you tonight?
Patron #2: Well, I'm currently disappointed in humanity.
Bar
Columbus, Indiana
Overheard by: Projection1234