Guys

Young dude: Man, my jaw hurts.
Chick: Must have been all that sucking last night.
Young dude: Gotta be from something. Plus, I don't remember anything, so…

Quakertown, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Ken

Guy on phone: Hey. (pause) No, I can't make it. (pause) Yeah, I'm in Mexico.

Murrieta, California

Overheard by: we're not that far from mexico, but still…..

Teen boy #1: Wow, she’s hot.
Teen boy #2: What? She’s, like, ten! You’re a pedophile!
Teen boy #1: I’m not a pedophile — I’m only sixteen! You can’t be a pedophile until you’re eighteen.
Teen boy #3: That’s right — I’m the only pedophile here.
Teen boy #4: I’m almost a pedophile…

Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: mikee

Guy #1: Well, they do say life’s short, gotta make the most of it.
Guy #2: I am pretty positive life is the longest thing I am ever going to do. And I am not going into that strip club, okay?

Sydney
Australia

Guy, weighing himself: 176. Hmm, hold on a minute, I gotta go shit.
Guy at desk: Alright.
(5 minutes later)
Guy, weighing himself: 170. Goddamn.

Centre College
Danville, Kentucky

Buff manly guy, solemnly to friends: If worse comes to worst, we can always make S'mores.

Grocery Store
Southern California

Guy #1: Wow, you like them big.
Guy #2: No, I can do fingers. As long as it's a Chernobyl mate with, like, fifteen of them.

England

Overheard by: Noel

Guy on cell: My rocket scientist shows up, she's drunk! But she's capable.

Cafe
Champaign, Illinois

Guy on mobile: Hi! I just wanted to clear up that whole breastfeeding thing…well, my boss has a one-and-a-half-year-old, and he said there were three stages: a sort of watery stage, then it moves into a semi-skimmed stage, then just pudding. Well, I just found out today and I thought you'd want to know too.

N21 Bus
London
England

Man eating burrito: It's like Darwinism. You know, selective… selection.

Balboa Island, California

Overheard by: Wow.