Fat drunk guy: I really like your shirt. It's very intellectual.
Girl: Uh, thanks.
Fat drunk guy: I mean, I'm in college, I like to think deep, you know? I want to make films. Deep films.
Girl: Yeah, that'll be cool.
Fat drunk guy: How old are you?
Girl: I'm 16.
Fat drunk guy: Oh, I'm 18. Well…I mean, I'm 23.
Shreveport, Louisiana
Overheard by: Elle
Quirky lesbian professor leading class in Kegel exercises: And everybody squeeze, hold, hold…release and squeeze, two, three…release.
Ditzy Indian, after shiver spasm: It gives me the willies!
Quirky lesbian professor: It's great, right!
Health Ed Class
Borough of Manhattan Community College, New York
Overheard by: Trying not to laugh at all the serious faces trying to hide these private exercises
Mother to three-year-old son: Can I call you “my dear”?
Three-year-old son: Can I call you “my moose”?
Austin, Texas
Passerby to friend (excitedly): We should so sell bottled dirt!
KSU
Manhattan, Kansas
Overheard by: Nicole
Physics professor: Where are all the physicists? Eh, we're all cab drivers, drug addicts and musicians.
Cupertino, California
Overheard by: shyinvisiblegirl loves physics
Wildly bearded hobo riding rusty bicycle and wearing only one shoe and parachute pants: Why, hello miss. Would you be interested in entering into a mutually beneficial body massage arrangement?
Surprised, redheaded woman: Uhhhhh, not today, thank you.
Hobo: I'll try back later.
Queen West
Toronto
Canadia
Angry suit: When is this plane going to take off? I have a very important meeting to get to!
Flight attendant: The incoming plane is delayed, sir, there's nothing we can do at the moment.
Angry suit: Well, are you going to make arrangements for me to get on another flight? This is urgent! Do you know who I am?
Flight attendant (over loudspeaker): Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen, there is a gentleman at the desk who does not know who he is. If anyone has any information about his identity, please come forward.
Midway Airport
Chicago, Illinois
Academic-type Oxford guy: You have such silky hair.
American girl: Thanks…
Academic-type Oxford guy: You could weave a garment out of it!
Oxford
England
Overheard by: Catherine
Girl #1 in bathroom stall: My poop looks awesome! It has things in it! Come, look!
Girl #2 (waiting outside stall): No.
Girl #1: Come on!
Girl #2: No.
Girl #1: Please?
Girl #2: No! I never will.
Girl #1: I just won't flush it and then you'll have to look.
Girl #2: You better flush that shit!
Grand Rapids, Michigan
Teacher to chatty class: Everyone, quiet, we have to go over this!
(class continues chatting)
Guy in the back: I will kill you all.
(class falls silent)
High School
Chesapeake, Virginia
