Pee

Five-year-old girl, happily: … And then I did it! I peed right in my pants!
Mom: Honey, you shouldn’t be proud of something like that. You should be embarrassed.
Five-year-old girl, even happier: Oh, okay! I’m embarrassed!

Whole Foods
Hadley, Massachusetts

Overheard by: velvin

Tall girl: Hurry up, I really have to pee.
Short girl in heels: Yeah, well, I'm about to hemorrhage through my skirt, so I win.

Baton Rouge, Louisiana

Hungover guy: Yeah man, so it was all good until I got so drunk that I pissed in my oven.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/289732218/youre-fine-if-its-self-cleaning.html

Overheard by: hah!

Girl #1: Wait, your mom is 50?
Girl #2: No, she just pees a lot.

Charleston, South Carolina

Overheard by: Aubree

Male student: So after leaving my mom a note explaining I was going to New York, my friend and I just drove there. We saw a hobo pee in a cup then dump it out!
Female student: Sweet! Can I see?

Bus, University of Michigan

Three-year-old daughter, pointing at huge woman: Dada, she has a big booty.
Father: Sweetie, you don't want to talk about other people's booties.
Three-year-old daughter: But dada, she couldn't sit on our toilet. It is too small for her.
Father: Okay. (hurriedly moves out of the aisle)
Three-year-old daughter: Her booty is too big for pee and poop to come out. She makes a big mess and gets it all over! (father starts pushing faster)

Supermarket
Quincy, Massachusetts

Panicky chick: Did you make eye contact with a man pissing in an alley?!

http://overheardlines.blogspot.com/2007/03/horrified-hipster-to-her-walking.html

Overheard by: sarah

Mom in bathroom stall: Okay Michael, come on, you have to pee.
Son: Mom, I don't wanna play games with you!
Mom: What is wrong with you? At least put your clothes back on if you're not going to pee!

Tempe, Arizona

Gross girl: Well, that girl's bathroom wasn't that bad.
Grosser guy: Well, the flies come to the men's because they like the pee pee floor. Mmmhmm.

Metro Red Line
Washington, DC

Overexcited boy in cafe: Mum, mum, mum! Can I play with my new toy? Can I? Can I? Can I?
Disinterested mum: Sure.
Overexcited boy, holding toy: Look! I'm holding my winkle. And I'm peeing. I'm peeing all over the drinks. There's wee everywhere!
Disinterested mum: No, there isn't.

Kingston-Upon-Thames
England

Overheard by: Ben