Questions

Does Your Violin Bow Double As a Crowbar?

Asian boy trying to open locked door: Man, how am I supposed to open this with my super Asian powers?!

Townview Magnet Center
Dallas, Texas

We’re Getting Closer to an Answer All the Time

Guy #1: How much have you had to drink?
Guy #2: Just beers.
Guy #1: But how many?
Guy #2: Just beers.
Guy #1: Yeah, how many beers have you had?
Guy #2: Yeah.
Guy #1: How many have you had though?
Guy #2: I’m only drinking beers tonight.

Pinehaven
New Zealand

Overheard by: Schmitty

Or Should We Cut to the Chase and Snort Some Lines?

Six-year-old girl to six-year old boy: Do you want to get a coffee?

Barnes & Noble
Plainfield, Illinois

Overheard by: Tdcompton

Playing Dirty-Scrabble with Todd Was Often Tedious

Guy: Yeah, you know that word? Ah, I forget it… Oh yeah, vagina!

Ontario
Canadia

Or Mechanical Bull — Whichever’s Closest.

Drunk Texan to car with window open: Excuse me, where’s the nearest brothel?

Miller Park parking lot
Milwaukee, Wisconsin

Of All the Ways to Describe Giving Birth…

Chick to friend: Can I get that pulled out of my cervix in September?

Davis Square
Somerville, Massachusetts

E-U-G-E-N-I-C-S

Loud woman: How do you spell ‘taxi’?

1801 Alexander Bell Drive
Reston, Virginia

Just Part of What It Means to Be an American

Dude: Is it strange that every time I hear opera, it makes me think of Looney Tunes?

Dallas, Texas

Overheard by: Rosie

I Mean, Tea, Biscuits and Stories about the Blitz…!

Teen boy #1: What? You love old ladies?
Teen boy #2: Like. Like.

Leeds
UK

And You’re Not in a Relationship Just because She Says So

Meathead to another: Dude, are you in a relationship? ‘Cause if you’re not in a relationship, you don’t have to call her ever. Do you hear me? Ever!

Safeway
Ellensburg, Washington

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