San Francisco

Queer, when Bible-thumping lady splashes him with holy water: I’m a faggot, not a vampire. There’s a difference.

San Luis Obispo Gay Pride Festival
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: Rish

Large man: You need a back rub?
Girl rubbing shoulder in pain: I’m fine, thanks.
Large man: I give great massages. My mama says it’s better than a orgasm.

MUNI bus
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: melissa

Drunk hobo: Got any spare change so I can buy me some pussy? [Sees man holding sign, “Jesus loves you.”] … It’s in the Bible!

Powell and Market Streets
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: Peggy

Dude: So, you know what makes a great lube? Tears.
Chick: Yeah, they do. Especially in the shower.

864 Club
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: Cdogg Davis

(the road is closed for Chinese New Year parade)
Bus driver: Folks, we’ll be alright. We’re going to take a right on Sansome, a left on Broadway, and a left on Stockton. We’ll rejoin the original route at Stockton and Sacramento. Don’t worry. Everything will be alright. As long as I still get paid, it’s okay.

San Francisco, California

30-something white lady: I just shove it down my pants. But it's not beer, it's Captain Morgan!

BART Escalator
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: Hott Bi Luv

Man to random cute chick: When's your birthday?
Cute chick: Um, September 27th.
Man: That's Ani DiFranco's birthday!

San Francisco, California

Overheard by: McNasty

Gay guy, gesturing at transvestite performing onstage: I don't want to see any more boobs. Show me the dicks!
Gay friends, approving: We want dicks!

DNA Lounge
San Francisco, California

Young Asian cop easing old Asian man out of police car: My first day on the beat and already I'm finding out about and busting illegal Mahjong parlors! I didn't know they existed!

San Francisco, California

Overheard by: McF

Gay dude: No, they're just too greasy for me.
Fag hag: Says the Mexican…
Gay dude: Excuse me? I'm black by insertion.

San Francisco, California

Overheard by: i don't like water