Hobo, panhandling to passer-bys: Can anyone spare some change so I can buy a little wine, some booze, some cheese, a little pot… Maybe some nuclear weapons…
Vancouver
Canadia
Overheard by: http://psychedelicmess.blogspot.com
Hobo, panhandling to passer-bys: Can anyone spare some change so I can buy a little wine, some booze, some cheese, a little pot… Maybe some nuclear weapons…
Vancouver
Canadia
Overheard by: http://psychedelicmess.blogspot.com
Pretty lady: You say a lot of bad words. Some people say that happens when you don’t have the intelligence to express your self otherwise.
College kid: That ain’t the case with me. I got a fuckin’ vocabulary, man. I just use words everyone understands, like ‘shit’ and ‘fuck’ and what-not, so I don’t obfuscate my meaning.
Panama City, Panama
Bus driver: So who else is gonna be there?
Passenger: Chicken boy will be there.
Bus driver: “Chicken boy”?
Passenger: Yeah, you know Dave*. That fool always smells like chicken! I always thought it was just me but at a party last week Elizabeth* and her friends all called him “chicken boy” too!
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Dawn
Man #1: Are these seats taken?
Man #2: No, they are not, but I have to warn you — we both had Chinese food for dinner, so we are going to have some major gas in a little bit.
Man #1: That’s fine, we had Thai.
Man #2: Oh, then we’re even. Have a seat.
Consolidated Theaters
Silver Spring, Maryland
Overheard by: feeling a little gassy myself
Middle-aged woman to 20-something: I never knew there was that much variety in shape, size, color and girth. I’m talking about butt plugs. Oh, I’m sorry. You look shocked. I forgot — you’re just a librarian.
Wedding reception, Caesar’s Palace, 3570 Las Vegas Boulevard South
Las Vegas, Nevada
Overheard by: Sarah
Late 20s drone in front of train operator’s door: Excuse me, can you move forward? The operator said I’m blocking the window.
Late 40s suit: No, you move forward. This is my spot.
Late 20s drone: We’re both blocking the window, and I can’t move unless you do.
Late 40s suit: I’m not moving.
Late 20s drone, groaning: You’re an ass.
Late 40s suit: No, you’re an ass.
Late 20s drone, pushing past: Oh, fuck you.
Late 40s suit, mocking: Oh, fuck you.
Late 20s drone: Good luck in third grade.
BART train, Bay Point – Daly City line
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: baby boomers must die
Bearded elderly Irish tramp: Fuck you! Fuck you, you hellspawn of Satan! You diseased monkey fucking dog wanking shitcunt!
Man, passing by: Pardon?
Bearded elderly Irish tramp: You heard me, you twat! You cocksucking pedophile wanker! (turning to passing woman) Excuse me my dear, I'm terribly sorry to bother you, but could you spare a pound?
Woman, passing by: Sorry, no.
Bearded elderly Irish tramp: God bless you! (turns back to passing man) Go fuck yourself, you cunt! I'll vomit on your fucking dog!
Leamington Spa
England
Overheard by: Bleep
Overweight redhead Southern lady #1, looking through Switzerland t-shirts: Y'all, Ginger… I think this size is a li'l too small…
Overweight redhead Southern lady #2: Naw, I think that looks 'bout right.
Random lady: I thought we went on vacation to get away from the Southerners, not go find some more…
Lucerne
Switzerland
Overheard by: marisawin
Little girl, in Arabic, as she sits in the train: Smells like cotton candy!
Mother, in French: Yeah, you're right, it smells like cotton candy. (to grandmother) Don't you think it smells like cotton candy?
Young black woman, sitting in the next row, smiling: It's me. It's my perfume.
Mother: Really?! What is it?
Young black woman: Vanilla and cotton candy.
Mother: Really? My girl told me it smells like the amusement park. At first I thought it was the cleaning product they used to wash the train floor. (pause) It smells really good.
C Train
Paris
France
Overheard by: BBM Tm
Indecisive young woman to stranger: It's just so hard to chose which wallet I want!
Stranger: Er, yeah. I'm shopping for a gift for a friend.
Indecisive young woman, holding up two wallets: What do you think, the red or the black?
Stranger: Ummmmm… The black.
Indecisive young woman: Hmmmm. It's just that red is so classy, you know?
Stranger: Then take the red one.
Indecisive young woman: But red doesn't go with everything… Black goes with everything.
Stranger: Then take the black one.
Indecisive young woman: I don't know. I don't like the way it looks inside. I liked that brown one over there (points) but it's a color that would just get dirty so quickly, you know?
Stranger: Mmmm-hmmm.
indecisive young woman, holding up two other wallets: What do you think, what suits me best?
Stranger: Um, they're both nice. It's hard to say which is best.
Indecisive young woman: Oh, I know… Choosing a wallet is such a personal thing, you know?
Mall
Australia
Overheard by: which is why you ask a complete stranger for their opinion
