Old guy to total stranger celebrating birthday: When you're young you can make love to six women at a time, but when you're old you can only make love to three women at a time.
Birthday man: Three women is plenty for me.
Old guy: Don't tell anyone I said that to you.
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/288392553/your-secret-is-safe-with-us.html
Overheard by: coco
50-something white-haired British guy: I know you!
Stranger: No sir, we haven't met.
50-something white-haired British guy: I remember you from before!
Stranger: I'm sorry sir, I just don't remember you.
50-something white-haired British guy: I was there too! We were both knights of Templar! You were Mary Magdalene's personal guard… How have you been all these years!?
Grand Canyon
Arizona
Overheard by: J
Hobo, panhandling to passer-bys: Can anyone spare some change so I can buy a little wine, some booze, some cheese, a little pot… Maybe some nuclear weapons…
Vancouver
Canadia
Overheard by: http://psychedelicmess.blogspot.com
Pretty lady: You say a lot of bad words. Some people say that happens when you don’t have the intelligence to express your self otherwise.
College kid: That ain’t the case with me. I got a fuckin’ vocabulary, man. I just use words everyone understands, like ‘shit’ and ‘fuck’ and what-not, so I don’t obfuscate my meaning.
Panama City, Panama
Bus driver: So who else is gonna be there?
Passenger: Chicken boy will be there.
Bus driver: “Chicken boy”?
Passenger: Yeah, you know Dave*. That fool always smells like chicken! I always thought it was just me but at a party last week Elizabeth* and her friends all called him “chicken boy” too!
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Dawn
Man #1: Are these seats taken?
Man #2: No, they are not, but I have to warn you — we both had Chinese food for dinner, so we are going to have some major gas in a little bit.
Man #1: That’s fine, we had Thai.
Man #2: Oh, then we’re even. Have a seat.
Consolidated Theaters
Silver Spring, Maryland
Overheard by: feeling a little gassy myself
Middle-aged woman to 20-something: I never knew there was that much variety in shape, size, color and girth. I’m talking about butt plugs. Oh, I’m sorry. You look shocked. I forgot — you’re just a librarian.
Wedding reception, Caesar’s Palace, 3570 Las Vegas Boulevard South
Las Vegas, Nevada
Overheard by: Sarah
Late 20s drone in front of train operator’s door: Excuse me, can you move forward? The operator said I’m blocking the window.
Late 40s suit: No, you move forward. This is my spot.
Late 20s drone: We’re both blocking the window, and I can’t move unless you do.
Late 40s suit: I’m not moving.
Late 20s drone, groaning: You’re an ass.
Late 40s suit: No, you’re an ass.
Late 20s drone, pushing past: Oh, fuck you.
Late 40s suit, mocking: Oh, fuck you.
Late 20s drone: Good luck in third grade.
BART train, Bay Point – Daly City line
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: baby boomers must die
Bearded elderly Irish tramp: Fuck you! Fuck you, you hellspawn of Satan! You diseased monkey fucking dog wanking shitcunt!
Man, passing by: Pardon?
Bearded elderly Irish tramp: You heard me, you twat! You cocksucking pedophile wanker! (turning to passing woman) Excuse me my dear, I'm terribly sorry to bother you, but could you spare a pound?
Woman, passing by: Sorry, no.
Bearded elderly Irish tramp: God bless you! (turns back to passing man) Go fuck yourself, you cunt! I'll vomit on your fucking dog!
Leamington Spa
England
Overheard by: Bleep
Overweight redhead Southern lady #1, looking through Switzerland t-shirts: Y'all, Ginger… I think this size is a li'l too small…
Overweight redhead Southern lady #2: Naw, I think that looks 'bout right.
Random lady: I thought we went on vacation to get away from the Southerners, not go find some more…
Lucerne
Switzerland
Overheard by: marisawin
