But She Once Wore a Paper Sombrero and Sang “La Bamba” at the School Pageant

Native American girl: Yeah, when I was in kindergarten, I was the only Mexican in class. Well, except for Reema. She's Lebanese.

High School
San Diego, California

Posted on January 10, 2018
California, Compare and contrast, Education, Geography, Girls, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Stupidity

Let the Nitpicking Begin!

Guy to girlfriend: You know, I got the crabs.
Girlfriend: Emm… okay.
Guy: Guess what?
Girlfriend: What?
Guy: You got 'em too, stupid!

San Francisco, California

Posted on January 7, 2018
Comebacks, Couples, Insults, Questions, San Francisco, STDs, Stupidity

Can You Picture Martha Stewart on a Public Bus?

Thug #1: Why the hell are you going all the way to back of the train car? Why don’t we sit in the front like that Martha Stewart woman?
Thug #2: What the fuck are you talking about Martha Stewart?
Thug #1: You know, she stood up for herself on the bus? Wait, who was that? Not Martha Stewart?

Orange Line at Downtown Crossing
Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: drunkbigirls

Posted on December 20, 2017
Compare and contrast, Friends, History, Massachusetts, Names, Politics, Questions, Race, Stupidity, Thugs, Train

Your Editors Just Googled Up 34,000 Hits for “Weird Insertions”

Mother to small boy: No, it's a courgette, dear. You can't light a fire with courgettes.

Sainsbury's Supermarket
Cardiff
Wales

Overheard by: Gordinho

Posted on December 16, 2017
Moms, Parenting, Stupidity, UK, Words

Then What’s Sap?

Girl: Mister, what’s that?
Teacher: That is an air purifier.
Girl: A what?
Teacher: An air purifier.
Girl: That’s crazy, what yo need an air purifier for?
Teacher: To get the pollen out of the air.
Girl: What’s pollen?
Teacher: Well, when trees have sex, they release pollen into the air.
Girl: You mean I am breathing in tree jizz!? [Shudders in repulsion at the thought.][Whole class laughs.]

High School
Austin, Texas

Posted on December 15, 2017
Cum, Education, Feelings, Girls, Questions, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Stupidity, Teachers, Texas

When You're Swimming through Them Like Scrooge McDuck

Woman to another, shopping in frozen food aisle: You know, I think sometimes you really can have too many Tater Tots in the house.

Shoppers Food Warehouse
Northern Virginia

Overheard by: Pat Trenner

Posted on December 12, 2017
Food, Shopping, Stores, Stupidity, Virginia, Women

When the Precognitive Get High

Dude #1: Hey, man, call someone and see if you can get us a ride.
Dude #2: Denny’s.
Dude #1, pausing: … No, you need to make some calls and see if you can get someone to give us a ride.
Dude #2: Denny’s.
Dude #1, after longer pause: Dude, are you hungry?
Dude #2: No… I could use some food, though.

Bay Area Rapid Transit District, California