Philosophy professor: A crisp cravat always gets me hot.
Wesleyan University
Bloomington, Illinois
Overheard by: ..Really?
Philosophy professor: A crisp cravat always gets me hot.
Wesleyan University
Bloomington, Illinois
Overheard by: ..Really?
Guy: I just want to know how big his nipples are!
Revolution Cafe
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: crafty biotech
Underage girl: I don't close my legs. (more defiantly) I won't.
Norman Regional Hospital
Norman, Oklahoma
Guy: You know what’s actually really good? Cocoa Puffs and bacon!
Chick: (blank stare)
Guy: Once I had them both and I ate one bite of Cocoa Puffs and one bite of bacon and they mixed in my mouth and it was good!
Chick: You make me want to vomit.
Harris Teeter
Bristow, Virginia
Driver, with boat in tow: How much?
Toll booth operator, in a sing-songy tone: Seven-fiftyyyyy!
Driver: What?
Toll booth operator, sing-songy: Highway robberyyyyy!
Toll Booth, Florida Turnpike
Sunrise, Florida
Overheard by: Broke Commuter
Security officer, pulling out fingernail clippers from carry-on: Sir, what are your intentions with these?
Man in line, deadpan: To take over the world.
Albuquerque, New Mexico
Overheard by: Zombie
Giddy girl, to guy in a wheelchair: Well, you certainly have sexual harassment down pat.
Art Department
University of Alaska
Girl student: Her family is so weird.
Guy student: How so?
Girl student: Her dad, like, goes in her backyard and catches squirrels.
Guy student, after long pause: Wait, what does he do with them?
Girl student: Raises them?
Starbucks
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Overheard by: Ashlie
Substitute teacher: Because your teacher is gone today, your prostitutions… Wait! No! Prosecutions… No, not that one either. Presentations. Yes, that's the one! Your presentations will be postponed.
High School
Kuna, Idaho
Overheard by: Girl in the back of the class
