Weirdness

Two-year-old: Waaaaah!
White trash mom: You want mommy to push your stroller?
Two-year-old: Waaaaah!
White trash dad: You wanna go ten feet under?!
White trash mom: Honey, it's six feet.

Sears
Nashua, New Hampshire

Overheard by: jefe

Gay Australian cowboy: I just didn't want his cat seeing me naked.

Calgary
Canadia

Girl to two bald eagles: I will mate with you and you will like it. We will have hot eagahuman babies and you will like it!
Friend: Sarah, sometimes I swear you should have stayed in special ed longer.

Woodland Park Zoo
Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: xhollisterluv1045

Gay professor: He's saying, “I like men and women,” and I'm like, “Ew!”

Godfrey, Illinois

Overheard by: M

Guy on cell: Yeah, so I was seeing this girl, and she called me and said, “so I think I might be pregnant,” and I said “oh shit, really?” and then she just said, “yeah, but if I am I'll just put that fucker up for adoption.”

Escondido, California

Philosophy professor: A crisp cravat always gets me hot.

Wesleyan University
Bloomington, Illinois

Overheard by: ..Really?

Guy: I just want to know how big his nipples are!

Revolution Cafe
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: crafty biotech

Underage girl: I don't close my legs. (more defiantly) I won't.

Norman Regional Hospital
Norman, Oklahoma

Guy: You know what’s actually really good? Cocoa Puffs and bacon!
Chick: (blank stare)
Guy: Once I had them both and I ate one bite of Cocoa Puffs and one bite of bacon and they mixed in my mouth and it was good!
Chick: You make me want to vomit.

Harris Teeter
Bristow, Virginia

Driver, with boat in tow: How much?
Toll booth operator, in a sing-songy tone: Seven-fiftyyyyy!
Driver: What?
Toll booth operator, sing-songy: Highway robberyyyyy!

Toll Booth, Florida Turnpike
Sunrise, Florida

Overheard by: Broke Commuter