Gotta Love Good Old-Fashioned Southern Courtship

Man in truck to woman in car: Hey there–you want a steak?
Woman: What? No.
Man: Even if it was in a box?
Woman: No, thanks, I'm cool.

Stoplight
Atlanta, Georgia

Posted on November 24, 2009
Food, Georgia, Guys, Offers and requests, Penis, Strangers, Vagina, Weirdness, Wishes, Women

The Country?

Girl #1: Remember that time you chased the porcupine?
Girl #2: Yeah. It was so cute, I just wanted to pet it.
Girl #1: And remember when you tried to run that bullfrog over?
Girl #2: That's because I don't like animals that aren't furry.
Girl #1: What about the porcupine? He's not furry.
Girl #2: But porcupines have feathers, so they count.
Girl #1: Porcupines don't have feathers.
Girl #2: Yes, they do.
Girl #1: They have quills.
Girl #2: Oh! When you were saying “porcupine” I thought you meant “turkey.”

Portland, Maine

Overheard by: Jade

Posted on November 22, 2009
Animals, Girls, Gripes, Maine, Science, Stupidity, Wishes, Words

How Far Will This Bus Token Get Me?

Old lady to female bus driver: I need to get laid.

Portland, Oregon

Overheard by: exactly

Posted on November 17, 2009
Bus, Bus drivers, Old folks, Oregon, Public transportation, Sex, Wishes, Women

So Many Girls Are Fascists, but Don't Know It

Girl #1: My dream is to have a harem of guys that I can make dress up like the pale man from Pan's Labyrinth.
Girl #2: Why the hell would you do that?
Girl #1: Because it would be awesome and scary. I just want to see a bunch of people running away from me and my harem.

Mount Holyoke College
South Hadley, Massachusetts

Posted on November 15, 2009
Clothes, Clothing, Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Fears, Girls, Massachusetts, Movies, Questions, Relationships, Weirdness, Wishes

I Am So Not Interested in Your Personal Hygiene

Teenage girl: I want to stop keeping it in my pants.
Effeminate teenage guy: No! Keep the stuff in your pants… in your pants!
Teenage girl: Yeah, it needs washing anyways.

Toronto
Canadia

Posted on November 12, 2009
Canadia, Cleanliness, Clothes, Teens, Wishes

In My Defense, I Only Cheated on Her with Non-Humans.

Private: I've been married to her for four years and only cheated on her for two. I don't see why she would wanna split.

Ft. Gordon, Georgia

Posted on October 30, 2009
Georgia, Infidelity, Military, Weirdness, Wishes

Is There an Appropriate One?

Crazy lady yelling at bus stop sign: I wish someone would rape me in an inappropriate way!

Chicago, Illinois

Posted on October 29, 2009
Bus, Crazies, Illinois, Sex, Violence, Wishes, Women

…And Bring Out the Visual Aids.

Student, about the economy: Well, what if I just took my big stick and made them give me their resources?
Professor: Well, let's just imagine that your stick isn't big enough to extract the resources you want. (chuckles) Sometimes there's no pleasure in the big stick. Okay, I'm gonna stop talking about sticks now.

Classroom
UC Santa Cruz, California

Overheard by: Kelly

Posted on October 27, 2009
California, Class, Compare and contrast, Education, Politics, Questions, Sex, Students, Teachers, Violence, Wishes

At Least Not Without an Audience

Waiter #1: We need to get this shit done and get out of here.
Waiter #2: Yep. I need to get to the bar. Molly's not gonna fuck herself tonight.

Indianapolis, Indiana

Overheard by: Shatmandu

Posted on October 19, 2009
Baristas, Indiana, Sex, Weirdness, Wishes

According to Mom's New Boyfriend

Six-year-old girl at the zoo: (drops French fries one by one)
Dad: Why are you dropping French fries?
Six-year-old girl: To feed them!
Dad: No one wants your old French fries.
Six-year-old girl: You're an old French fry!

http://eavesdropdc.blogspot.com/2008/06/sticks-and-stones.html

Overheard by: Dave

Posted on October 18, 2009
Animals, Comebacks, Dads, Eavesdrop DC, Food, Kids, Parenting, Weirdness, Wishes

Wishes