Fat tourist mom: Nah… I don't wanna eat there.
Fat tourist dad, wistfully: Well, it's not McDonald's.
Outside Marcy's Diner
Portland, Maine
Overheard by: townie knows best
Fat tourist mom: Nah… I don't wanna eat there.
Fat tourist dad, wistfully: Well, it's not McDonald's.
Outside Marcy's Diner
Portland, Maine
Overheard by: townie knows best
Hostess: Your son and I were just talking about what he wants for Christmas.
10-year-old boy: Turkey bacon!
Gruff-looking father: You want turkey bacon for Christmas?
10-year-old boy, to hostess: He never buys any!
Gruff-looking father: Hey, if you want turkey bacon for Christmas, I'll get you turkey bacon.
Restaurant
Middletown, Connecticut
Crying girl: I have always wanted to have kids, you know? Now I can't.
Friend: It's really not that bad.
Crying girl: No, the doctor said I can never get pregnant!
Friend: Look at it this way: you can have tons of sex and never have to worry about it. I think it's a pretty sweet deal!
Random guy: I agree with you, sista.
San Francisco, California
Teenage girl with bad haircut: Ugh, I so just want to punch Lauren* in the face… She's lucky I'm not a bitch.
Overweight teenage boy: I know!
Teenage girl with bad haircut: I mean, seriously, all the time from here it's all “blah blah blah, I got raped.” So annoying!
Overweight teenage boy: I know!
Teenage girl with bad haircut: I'd understand if it was once in a while… but dude, she talks about it all the time!
Edmonton
Alberta
Canadia
Overheard by: Lisa
Man in truck to woman in car: Hey there–you want a steak?
Woman: What? No.
Man: Even if it was in a box?
Woman: No, thanks, I'm cool.
Stoplight
Atlanta, Georgia
Girl #1: Remember that time you chased the porcupine?
Girl #2: Yeah. It was so cute, I just wanted to pet it.
Girl #1: And remember when you tried to run that bullfrog over?
Girl #2: That's because I don't like animals that aren't furry.
Girl #1: What about the porcupine? He's not furry.
Girl #2: But porcupines have feathers, so they count.
Girl #1: Porcupines don't have feathers.
Girl #2: Yes, they do.
Girl #1: They have quills.
Girl #2: Oh! When you were saying “porcupine” I thought you meant “turkey.”
Portland, Maine
Overheard by: Jade
Old lady to female bus driver: I need to get laid.
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: exactly
Girl #1: My dream is to have a harem of guys that I can make dress up like the pale man from Pan's Labyrinth.
Girl #2: Why the hell would you do that?
Girl #1: Because it would be awesome and scary. I just want to see a bunch of people running away from me and my harem.
Mount Holyoke College
South Hadley, Massachusetts
Teenage girl: I want to stop keeping it in my pants.
Effeminate teenage guy: No! Keep the stuff in your pants… in your pants!
Teenage girl: Yeah, it needs washing anyways.
Toronto
Canadia
Private: I've been married to her for four years and only cheated on her for two. I don't see why she would wanna split.
Ft. Gordon, Georgia
