Sadly, Not Even the Scots Understand Their Accent

Girl #1, playing boardgame: You steer a boat with this.
Girl #2: An udder?

Edinburgh
Scotland

Overheard by: Ben seven

He’d Still Have the Use of Both Hands

Guy, to friend: And so I said to him: “If you’d never seen Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon your life would be so different right now.”

Bus
Coventry
England

Girl, frustrated: Because every time I try to study, you yell “sausage” at me!

Bristol, Vermont

Girl on cell: You mean you need at least thirty minutes? It's only supposed to last ten minutes, that's why it's called a quickie!

UC Irvine
Irvine, California

Girl to boy: How old are you?
Boy: Two old!

Seattle, Washington

Professor: I thought it was an “Oh my god, ponies!” moment.

Christopher Newport University
Newport News, Virginia

Overheard by: It had to be…

High school punk #1: “Fluids” sounds better.
High school punk #2: I don't like fluids.
High school punk #1: And that's why you're flunking band!

Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: SaraG(as in gee, I wonder what THAT means…)

Old lady speaking to granddaughter: What exactly is a handjob?

Huddersfield
England

Overheard by: your how old and you don’t know what?

Girl to friends trying to eat lunch: And then all of a sudden his penis started groundhoging!
Friends: (blank stare)

Franklin Dining Hall, UMass
Amherst, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Cate