Words

He’d Still Have the Use of Both Hands

Guy, to friend: And so I said to him: “If you’d never seen Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon your life would be so different right now.”

Bus
Coventry
England

Posted on May 5, 2016
Advice, Bus, Compare and contrast, Default, Friends, Guys, Movies, UK, Words

Just Trying to Make Learning Fun.

Girl, frustrated: Because every time I try to study, you yell “sausage” at me!

Bristol, Vermont

Posted on March 20, 2016
Education, Food, Girls, Penis, Stupidity, Vermont, Words

I Mean, Do You or Do You Not Work for Domino's?

Girl on cell: You mean you need at least thirty minutes? It's only supposed to last ten minutes, that's why it's called a quickie!

UC Irvine
Irvine, California

Posted on March 16, 2016
California, Colleges & Universities, Default, Girls, Questions, Sex, Words

…For You, Missy.

Girl to boy: How old are you?
Boy: Two old!

Seattle, Washington

Posted on March 11, 2016
Age and ageing, Kids, Washington, Words

But It Was Actually the Four Horsemen and Their Nasty, Old Apocalypse

Professor: I thought it was an “Oh my god, ponies!” moment.

Christopher Newport University
Newport News, Virginia

Overheard by: It had to be…

Posted on March 6, 2016
Animals, Colleges & Universities, Default, Feelings, Names, Teachers, Virginia, Words

You'll Never Graduate Cum Laude at This Rate

High school punk #1: “Fluids” sounds better.
High school punk #2: I don't like fluids.
High school punk #1: And that's why you're flunking band!

Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: SaraG(as in gee, I wonder what THAT means…)

Posted on February 23, 2016
Compare and contrast, Cum, Gripes, Illinois, Punks, Students, Words

Let’s Hope English Isn’t Her First Language and Move On

Old lady speaking to granddaughter: What exactly is a handjob?

Huddersfield
England

Overheard by: your how old and you don’t know what?

Posted on February 22, 2016
Euphemisms, Family, Masturbation, Old folks, Questions, UK, Women, Words

Bottom Line: We're Having Six More Weeks of Winter

Girl to friends trying to eat lunch: And then all of a sudden his penis started groundhoging!
Friends: (blank stare)

Franklin Dining Hall, UMass
Amherst, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Cate

Posted on February 16, 2016
Animals, Colleges & Universities, Default, Girls, Massachusetts, Penis, Sexuality, Weirdness, Words

Which Only Comes Into Play After Three or More Margaritas

Bartender: The answer was “The North Sea.” We did not accept “Nordic” or “Norse.”
Guy: But my hand has a lisp!

http://www.overheardatumbc.com

Posted on February 14, 2016
Bartenders, Guys, Hands, Maladies, Overheard at UMBC, Words

But How Do You Feel About It?

Gossip girl #1: Oh my god! Did I tell you that I got accepted for my exchange to Paris next year? I'm going second semester.
Gossip girl #2: Oh my god! That's amazing!
Gossip girl #1: Yeah, I'm really excited.
Gossip girl #2: That's so exciting!
Gossip girl #1: Yeah, it's gonna be amazing.
Gossip girl #2: That is so amazing.
Gossip girl #1: Yeah, I'm super excited!
Gossip girl #2: That is just so exciting!

VIA Train
Montreal to Toronto

Overheard by: The zoe

Posted on February 14, 2016
Canadia, Default, Education, Feelings, Geography, Girls, Questions, Train, Words