Let’s Hope English Isn’t Her First Language and Move On

Old lady speaking to granddaughter: What exactly is a handjob?

Huddersfield
England

Overheard by: your how old and you don’t know what?

Posted on February 22, 2016
Euphemisms, Family, Masturbation, Old folks, Questions, UK, Women, Words

Bottom Line: We're Having Six More Weeks of Winter

Girl to friends trying to eat lunch: And then all of a sudden his penis started groundhoging!
Friends: (blank stare)

Franklin Dining Hall, UMass
Amherst, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Cate

Posted on February 16, 2016
Animals, Colleges & Universities, Default, Girls, Massachusetts, Penis, Sexuality, Weirdness, Words

Which Only Comes Into Play After Three or More Margaritas

Bartender: The answer was “The North Sea.” We did not accept “Nordic” or “Norse.”
Guy: But my hand has a lisp!

http://www.overheardatumbc.com

Posted on February 14, 2016
Bartenders, Guys, Hands, Maladies, Overheard at UMBC, Words

But How Do You Feel About It?

Gossip girl #1: Oh my god! Did I tell you that I got accepted for my exchange to Paris next year? I'm going second semester.
Gossip girl #2: Oh my god! That's amazing!
Gossip girl #1: Yeah, I'm really excited.
Gossip girl #2: That's so exciting!
Gossip girl #1: Yeah, it's gonna be amazing.
Gossip girl #2: That is so amazing.
Gossip girl #1: Yeah, I'm super excited!
Gossip girl #2: That is just so exciting!

VIA Train
Montreal to Toronto

Overheard by: The zoe

Posted on February 14, 2016
Canadia, Default, Education, Feelings, Geography, Girls, Questions, Train, Words

Or the Word “Dyke” Ever Again

Teacher: So, for the final sentence we should get some sort of metaphor for tax cuts helping the US recession.
Student #1: Hmm… Hey, you know like, the commercial where they put gum in the hole in the dam to stop the leak?.
Student #2: Or the finger!
Teacher: Oh, you mean in the dyke!
Student #1: Yeah, so… Tax cuts would be the finger in the hole of America’s dyke?
Teacher: Maybe we shouldn’t use a metaphor.

English Essentials Class
Waimea, Hawaii

Overheard by: boehmface

Posted on February 7, 2016
Advice, Education, Hawaii, History, Politics, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Sexuality, Students, Teachers, Words

Doesn’t Seem Like Much of a Stretch for Either of Us

Preppy guy: You’re such a bitch, Alexandra.
Alexandra: Thanks?
Preppy guy: No, in a good way.
Alexandra: How can you be a bitch in a good way?
Preppy guy: You’re the kind of bitch that makes me wish I was gay so we could sit at an outside cafe and make fun of people’s outfits when they walk by.

Starbucks, Newbury Street
Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: i want to, too!

Posted on February 4, 2016
Default, Girls, Guys, Insults, Massachusetts, Preppies, Wishes, Words

I’m Not Allowed to Use Them at Home

Biology professor, on earthworm digestive systems: And I’m including this part because I enjoy saying words like “anus”.

South Dakota State University
South Dakota

Posted on January 21, 2016
Animals, Body parts, Class, Creepsters, Education, Science, South Dakota, Teachers, Weirdness, Wishes, Words

Freud: See, That's What I Always Thought

Older woman, speaking fondly of her husband: I just want to go home and be with my Dick.

Boise, Idaho

Overheard by: just me

Posted on January 18, 2016
Default, Idaho, Names, Old folks, Sexuality, Wishes, Women, Words

Giving New Meaning to “Here Comes the Bride”

(girl is trying on a wedding gown with a huge train. Grandmother and mom are fanning the train out around her)
Grandma: Okay, we're going to be the fluffers.
Mom: Yes we are.

Nashville, Tennessee

Posted on January 15, 2016
Default, Family, Moms, Porn, Tennessee, Words

In This Issue, “Seven Secrets to Make Him Give You Tax Money!”

Bimbette: She went to beauty school, so she thinks she’s a cosmopolitician or something.

http://eavesdropdc.blogspot.com/

Overheard by:

Posted on January 14, 2016
Bimbettes, Eavesdrop DC, Words

Words