Peer-taught health class leader: Do not open condoms with a knife.
Eugene, Oregon
Overheard by: nyssa
Friend #1: I just want a Dance Dance Revolution mat that won't skid around on the floor while I dance on it. I am thinking about covering my old one in an unskiddable material.
Friend #2: Well, you could try human skin.
Friend #1: Does it skid?
Friend #2: Only when wet.
Gamestop
Omaha, Nebraska.
Woman screaming into phone: You need to chill the fuck out!
San Francisco, California
Exasperated-sounding woman to small child: If you're not gonna cry properly, then don't cry at all.
http://www.violaraptor.co.uk/2006/07/quotebook-2006/
Overheard by: Raptor
Professor: No drinking and driving this weekend! No drugs! …and no babies.
Ball State University
Muncie, Indiana
Overheard by: Sara
Guy: Egg salad is a dish best served cold.
http://overheardinumcp.blogspot.com
Overheard by: alyssa
Mom to running, laughing child: Stop running! You can have fun when we get home.
Wal-Mart
Bowling Green, Kentucky
Overheard by: shannon
Random guy: Man, you just gotta cowboy the fuck up and tell the dumb bitch you’re doing her in the ass!
Moe’s Southwest Grill
Norman, Oklahoma
Guy on cell: Now turn it on and set it to cow mode… Right, but be sure it’s in cow mode… No, you’ll know when it’s in cow mode.
Kroger Grocery
Conway, Arkansas
Overheard by: Not sure I want to know
Thesis advisor to uncomfortable-looking advisees: You girls might be too young for it, but if you ever have the chance to have sex on a water bed, you should do it.
Colgate University
Madison County, New York
